The Whatever Files

Ad Man Interview

Interviewer: Mr Ad Man. Hi.

Ad Man: Hi.

Interviewer: You've been bombarding the WDC Newsfeed with adverts for The Whatever Contest for weeks now, coming up with all kinds of outlandish nonsense. Do you just put down everything that enters your head?

Ad Man: (laughs) Well no, I mean obviously some of my ideas are utter rubbish.

Interviewer: And those are the ones that you use right?

Ad Man: (hurt silence).

Interviewer: Ahem! Well, perhaps you can fill us in on some of the ideas that didn't make it?

Ad Man: (slightly mollified) You can never say never, sometimes an idea grows after I've initially rejected it, and some I am just holding in reserve, like my Jane Eyre parody. I have two truly awful puns lined up for that one if I ever get around to it.

I did think about using Shakespeare's 'King Lear', but nothing has come of that. I like trying different genres too. I've only dipped my toe in the Western for example, although The Mime With No Name, as has been noted elsewhere in my writings, was the inspiration for Clint Eastwood's laconic performances in many a spaghetti Western.

Interviewer: How far ahead do you plan these things?

Ad Man: Sometimes I literally open my word processor and just type Whatever comes to mind.

Interviewer: Quite appropriate for The Whatever Contest.

Ad Man: Quite so, and I like to try and name drop the contest as often as possible in the piece.

Interviewer: I have noticed that sometimes you explain the contest, and on other occasions you leave it to Schnujo is Late to Lannister to tell folk about it in the comments.

Ad Man; Yes, and that's quite deliberate. It means I'm not saying the same thing about writing a heartfelt message and sending it with a merit badge, getting 15K back for a 10K badge, and two free merit badges from me just for entering all the time. I mean it's quite hard to work that into a piece every day, so I don't.

Interviewer: Do you have anything specific planned for the next few days?

Ad Man: Obviously the Contest ending as it does on the 30th June, I shall be pushing the 'Not long left now, get your fingers out' line, but beyond that no, nothing specific planned, though I would like to cover Jane Eyre, so that's a possibility.

Interviewer: And what about beyond the 30th? What next for the Ad Man?

Ad Man: I shall start pushing my own Sound & Vision Contest in July.

Interviewer: Ad Man, thank you for coming in to talk to us today.

Ad Man: Thank you.