View from the Mousehole

the mouse trail zone

Again, David went to Eds so I didn't go to Clubhouse. I may have to change my day to Thursday or give up on going.
I just wanted to go on Tuesdays because that is the day of the big house meeting for the week.

I pointed out the flower bulbs I bought last fall to Bill. He said that most of them probably were not viable any more but they would try planting them anyhow. All I could think of was the fact that I still owe PCH for them. Ah well.

Despite today being a beautiful day weather wise, I still hurt and spent most of the day laying around sleeping.

I did get part of one of my vision boards done. I still have a ways to go on it and have the one for my magick to do.

One of the exercises to do in my book on self care is to write your name in the center of a piece of paper then write words around it that describe you; accepting both positive and negative things. Coming up with the words wasn't t he problem.....
I could only put "K" for the name. If I put my full real name all I could believe and write was negative words.

I've come to a conclusion. I don't know who I am any more. There is no one name that describes all of me.

I have a pen name of Kristin Claire.
I have a witch name of Khola Mousethyme.
I have a dark side who calls herself Kara.
There's a completely depressed side called Kila.
There are male aspects called Kurt and Keith.....
there are more that don't really have names yet or names that have been forgotten.......



I don't know. I feel like in ways I am losing myself. I feel as though I am slipping back in the deep recesses of depression. Sometimes I don't know what keeps me going and not trying to hurt myself. The only reason I can think of is that too many people would care. But should that matter when I don't care?????

Yeah, this entry has taken a strange turn. You have now entered into..... the mouse trail zone.......