Sarah's Life

Ick, Ick, Ick, Ick, Ick, and for good measure... ICK

Ok, so this is great. Someone read my little ramble that I posted last night, and now he's all worried that he's burdening me. Funny thing is... he's really the only person keeping me sane, and even though he has his issues, I really can't avoid helping him with them, as I'm an empath and I can tell when he's hiding stuff.... GRARGH. So you've got to love life... I mean really... I can't complain about people using me as a safety net, because if I do, they'll stop using me as one... if they stop using me as a safety net, they fall. I don't want my friends to fall.

So here I am... I need someone, anyone to vent to, so I take it out on my poor journal and anyone who happens to stumble by and read it. Now people are worried about me (Don't worry I'm fine!) and afraid to open up to me. ICK ICK ICK. I want them to open up to me... It's just hard on me when I can't tell anyone all the secrets I'm harbouring for other people. I can't complain that "so and so" is using me as a safety net in some situation, because I've promised "so and so" (well... two or three "so and so's") That I wouldn't mention thier names, situations, or anything about it or them. So I'm caught knowing all these things about my friends, trying to help them, but feeling like I'm drowning, and I can't have anyone save me because I'm not allowed to call for help.

"Like a drowning man goes through air"

Icky Icky Icky.

I know I should be able to find good stuff in my life... and I've been trying. It doesn't help that Valentine's Day is tomorrow, and I've never liked that holiday. My boyfriend is doing everything he can to change that (but, sorry dear, it's one of those sentiments that just can't be changed. I love everything you're doing, but my hatred for this holiday runs deep). To top that off, two of my friends were recently dumped by thier boyfriends because the boyfriends were cheating on them... with eachother. OUCH. So I'm stuck counciling one of the girls, and the ex-boyfriend of the other girl (so I can't even joke with her about "why the hell would he break up with me for HIM of all people", because the guy her boyfriend cheated on her with is a good friend of mine, and has been for years. I also know what he's going through with the whole "coming out of the closet" thing.... not easy for him). The girl that isn't my friend is busy trying to steal my boyfriend, which is amazingly NOT cool. So I'm close to ripping her lungs out with a spork (Sporks are fun).

I really don't know what else to say. School is hell... In IB we have these nasty nasty little things called (*dramatic chord*) "Internal Assesments" . Essentially, I have a spanish internal assesment today, which means I have to go and chat with my spanish teacher, in spanish, for 10 minutes on a topic of my choice. The topic I picked is "Governmetns should be spending more money on researching the ocean than exploring space". FUN FUN FUN! The only reason I havn't just given up on it yet is because once I'm done with spanish this year I never have to put up with stupid spanish teachers ever ever again. When I started learning it I fell in love with the language, but due the fact that no spanish teacher is ever sane/fun/even tolerable I'm over that love.


ICK ICK ICK ICK

ICK GRARGH PLURGH

Kgirlfae ~ Wanting