My True Soul

Apathy, Books, Celebrations

Apathy - lack of emotions or feelings; lack of concern. This has to be one of the best things ever invented in the history of mankind. =) Actually my friends, I am a person who finds it very hard not to care about other people. But I've found myself in positions where I feel very apathetic. You see, we're all like magnets. When you get along with someone, your opposite poles are facing each other; therefore you attract towards one another. When you don't get along, your similar poles (i.e. N and N) are facing each other; therefore you repel. The closer you get in the beginning, the further you repel away. Now if you're just apathetic, then you are too far away from the other to attract or repel. You're just there, ya know? And what if you got along before and then repelled? Well, the other person was only showing one side in the beginning, the one opposite of what you were showing. Then he/she let the other side show, and the similar poles repelled. So whoosh! You go bye bye, far far away--or maybe just far away enough to be apathetic. As said by my friend Shorty. The magnet theory is accredited to Sean, Shorty, and I all together.

I just finished reading The Awakening by Kate Chopin. That is one of the best books I've read in AP. I actually liked it when I first started reading it, it didn't take me time to reflect on it or did I have to read it to the end, I liked it from the begining. So many things that she says that just hit me like "Yes, I've felt that way before." And the book is somewhat psychological, I like that. I like it when something makes you think like that. I suggest it for reading. But, I also warn you I was one of the VERY few to actually like the book in my class.

I'm reading The War of the Worlds now by H.G. Wells, it's really good so far, but then again, I just started it today. I think I need to suggest that my gf reads it, I believe she'd like what it was about if not the book. I love how it starts. Basically Wells writes about how ignorant man is for thinking that we are the superior race in all the universe and for thinking that any intelligent life we do find, would be inferior. I think I'll type it and add it to my quotes.

I did way too many lunges on Saturday. My legs now feel horrible. I dunno why I did them really, I just did, and it was a mistake. Going up and down the stairs requires so much, lol. (I sound like an old lady.) It does tho... when I come downstairs, I mean to stay awhile....no running up and down the stairs for me. It amazes me that my body can feel this horrible and I can still be really happy/spazzy.

Yesterday, 30th, was my gf's birthday. And I'm so curious to know if she read the stuff I sent her... I think so, cause part of what I did for her was really big and required her to check my e-mail account to read it, it was read this evening. Yay! I wanted to get online tonight, but, I went into a phase this evening where I didn't move. I moved around all day during school, it hurt, came home and did housework for an hour, homework for an hour, researched scholarships and planned what to write about for the essays later this week. Then watched something, helped mom with dinner, then the whole not-moving thing came in. I fell asleep in the recliner around 10:15. Of course, the last 2 days, I've woke up at 2:25 exactly with a jolt. It's like "You got 4 hours, you're good to go" Heh, now I'm happy cause I know my gf saw the stuff I sent her on her b-day. I'd already sent her stuff this summer for her birthday. *shakes head* I just realized that I'm going to be like my mother... lol. My dad's b-day was the 28th and he didn't want too much, he was perfectly happy picking out his own few things. My mom acts like she won't go all out, but then she does... lol. I bought him books, he likes to read. The great thing is, is that if I'd like to read it... so would he. It's a sinch to pick out books for him.

It is now around 8 months til graduation, 9 months til I see my gf, 2 months until my birthday, close to 3 months for christmas... nice lil countdown. And this month is when I'll start being busy with doing college stuff, yip, I think UA's stuff is due around Nov. 1st. =/ I dun like that. Oh well, guess I'll get to see if I'll get in there or not faster. I REALLY do NOT want to go to UA. It's like the epitome of all that I hate. *shudders* But my parents would so be mad if I didn't apply. Please them, I'm not going though, not unless they are like "You can go here for FREE" then, sure, yeah, lol. I don't really like Auburn much either, but better than Alabama. The thing that really annoys me though, is wherever I look into, I have friends saying "Oh, they suck, they're horrible, don't go there, you'll hate it" Blah blah blah. I want certain things in a college, most of these colleges fit these things... that's why I'm looking into them. I really like Central Washington now that I've looked into their Psych program. They have a masters in counseling. That's what I want... it looks like a smooth program. Washington State would be wonderful, but the tuition is $22,000 a year. So, um, yeah... that's bad. Parents can go up to $12,000 at the very most. So go to college that is 10,000 over or one that's 3,000? The sad thing, lol, I get stuff from a college finally and I've changed my mind about going there. My list switches constantly. Today I got stuff from UTC finally... I look at it, okay, then I'm like "eh... do I really wanna go there?" And they want me to tell them why I want to go there, specifically. It's like 'Uh, because you seem to have what I want and I could afford it?" I think however, I shall write about my family being close to there, so since I don't see them much there, if I could go to UTC, I would be able to visit them.

I talked to someone the other day, really interesting convo about religions. All of my friends have a different denomination or religion. I realized the broad span the other day. That made me also realize that I obviously don't care if they have the same beliefs as me, lol. To everyone, their own choice. =)


The continuing saga of Heart vs. Mind...
I know that sometimes, my mind gets so pushy and it won't listen to my heart. It totally pushes my heart out of the way and stands in the front. While behind it, you see my heart waving, making huge signs, yelling, being so completely honest... but all you hear and see is this large mind standing in front babbling on about nonsense.