My True Soul

The Day After

I just had one of the best birthdays ever. I think I have a few more that could possibly top this one, but so far, yeah, I think this one won. I didn't even do much for it either.

I was out of school, obviously since I wrote in my journal so early yesterday. That was really nice, it was the first time in a long time I didn't come home with a headache. (I get one every day now so it seems) The only bad thing about not going all day to school was that I didn't see Jessica Jenkins to say Happy Birthday to her too. She turned 17 and I realized about a month ago that she was born on a Friday the 13th. My first birthday was a Friday the 13th. =) She's really cool, just laid back, takes things as they come, always pretty happy, kinda artsy, and funny. And I love her hair, it's black, or REALLY dark brown, but it is just... I don't know, it just always looks perfect. I'm just commenting, lol.

Anyway, so I went into town, went to K-mart where I faced the ill-mannered worker lady who apparently thought I was the one who threw down ALL the 10 or so cds that were on the floor. She was mean and extremely rude - it pissed me off. I left and went to Wal-mart... they didn't have any blinky/flashy/chasing lights. Then I had to leave to go to Target where I saw John Godsey. Okay, I thought he was gay the first time I met him in SEVENTH grade! Now, he graduated from high school and came out sometime after - NO shock! Anyway, he dresses better than most girls I know, he was wearing this "fitting" black dress pants that were FLARED at the bottom, over really nice black boots, then he had a white shirt with a collar of course with the collar stick out over his really pretty red and black sweater, topped by a black leather jacket, with completely perfect hair. And maybe this is wrong, but, yes, I get vibes when someone here might be bi or homosexual. Cause here, anyone who's not heterosexual is a definite minority.

Then I came home and had a really strong feeling telling me to check my e-mail. So I turn on the computer at a little before 3 my time. I check my e-mail, 2 cards from Sarah, alright, that's cool... but I decided to look at the time... yah, she'd sent them within the last 10 minutes at MAX. Kinda cool, eh? I was all happy about that and unbeknownst (is that a word? No, probably not, it would be a Farina word tho, but I'll say it where you'll know what I mean) otherwise I told Sarah I got the cards, that I liked them, but I didn't tell her or anyone else that they made me cry. There wasn't a reason really, except for the fact she sent them, and told me she loved me, and wished me a happy 18th birthday... it made me happy that she took time to send them cause I know she's been busy lately... =D

Then I sat around, watched Drew Carey, I love his show, lol. Then I fell asleep for 5 minutes, the phone rang, I thought it was like 8 and people were calling from Ruby Tuesdays wondering where I was. It was 4:35.

My mom brought me 2 dozen orange roses with red tips, that's been tradition with her since I was 12 or 13. It changed into 2 dozen on my 16th or 17th birthday. I love orange roses. I'd like to continue the tradition with any girls that I have when I'm older.

I went out to eat at Ruby Tuesdays with my parents, Sean, Shorty, Eric (Fetty), Amanda, Brad, and Tiff. Was really hoping Ali would come to, but her dad is really bizarre about what he lets her do. It was fun just being around them. They all gave cards except for Tiff and Brad. But considering Tiff didn't know she could go til the last minute and this was only the second time for Brad to see me, lol, I don't care. Then since we have nothing to do here and none of wanted to go home (well, I did, I still had presents... but my mom needed time to wrap them, so...) we went to McDonald's Playplace.... yeah... lol. =D It's really fun and with one of the McDonalds, we all climb into it and get to one section of it, camp out, and talk about stuff. Last time it was really interesting conversation about finding stuff that belongs to your parents that you wished you would have NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER found!!!!

Then I came home and opened presents. I got a book that's called Earthshift from my dad. Him and I read some of the same stuff... so we can normally pick out books for each other easily. A sunglasses clip, a dolphin bracelet, a nice thick really pretty hoodie, pjs that are really crazy looking, Lilo & Stitch (I couldn't stay awak last night to finish it all =( ), 40 dollar gift card to Wal-mart, a pair of blue jeans, and a stuffed orange and white cat that MEOWS. LoL. Then from my friends I got a thing, it's similar to a lava lamp, but it's not. What's so funny about that is I was talking to Sarah about how I'd always wanted one, she has one and so does Jesseca, I have never gotten one, this convo was not heard by Amanda... then she got me what she did.... that was so cool, lol. And I collected $30 in cash. I told them "Thank you for providing money for YOUR christmas gifts!" That's what really sucks about my b-day, I don't get to keep the money, it goes for christmas gifts. Then Sean and my parents gave me the SAME birthday card!!! That's just weird.

So, opened all my presents, I had some birthday CHEESEcake and a glass of milk, just had put in Lilo & Stitch and my cell phone rang. Mind you it's close to 11, my parents said it was some weird number, I looked at the number - it was Sarah and for a moment it scared me. She just normally doesn't call that late (for me) nor has she called my cell that late... but then again it was my birthday. And I sounded so shocked and surprised that it was her. She could tell... she's like "Weren't expecting me to call, were ya?" "No..." "Yeah, I know, but it is a special day." "Yeah, Friday the 13th is really awesome, they don't come along often" "OH you know what I'm talking about silly! Happy 18th Birthday!" I just, I, her voice, I missed hearing her so much. I can survive on getting e-mails from her, but, hearing her is just like finding a huge treasure. When we first talked on the phone, I fell in love with her voice, her accent, her laugh... I just, I wanted to hear her laugh so much and to talk, but she was shy, so I was making her laugh.

She told me stuff and now that it's been in my head, I have things I coulda said and asked, but I go into stupid mode with Sarah. I just, I lose control of what I mean to say, my mind goes to mush, my heart steps up and there's so much I wanna say and tell, but I just kinda listen more, or talk about stupid stuff cause the stupid stuff is the onlything my brain can access.

Then she started teasing me about the way I say some words, mostly cause of my accent... "foil" and "ice". She will always tease me about the way I say them. So she puts me on the phone with her friend Melody to talk to her. It was kinda like the whole "uh..." sometimes, but we did well. I wasn't as shy as normal cause, I mean... it's Sarah and I'm not shy with her. I had to say my words that sound so... hmm... either weird or cute. And I was supposed to explain the coke thing to her. But, we talked about other stuff. She wished me a Happy Birthday like 2 or 3 times. Asked me what I did, told her about McDonalds, she said that sounded really cool to do and that she loves to do stuff to get reactions from people. When she said that, yep, she got voted into my book of cool people. She sounds kinda like my friend Brittney, she moved here from Ohio, but her voice is about the same tone as Melody's and she still has the northern accent. Brittney's however, when she first moved here drove me NUTS cause of the nasal sound, now she's lost it and I rather enjoy it. I love talking to the people from the northwest... obviously, lol. Melody told me it was nice to put a voice with my name. Same here for me. But then I was thinking "whoa, put a voice with the name... that means... she DOES talk about me!!"

I think I scared Sarah, Melody and I scared Sarah, cause we were laughing at a dream she had where there was a really obnoxious girl who she tried to choke, which didn't work, then she had to drown her in a toilet. I could hear Melody laughing and I was cracking up, Sarah's like "YOU GUYS ARE LAUGHING?!?!?" My friends and I had a conversation over dinner about the many ways you could torture someone and which would be the best (worst for them). Brittany T. and I have had long drawn out convos about what some people do to bodies and about Hannibal Lector. Where to hide bodies, what the perfect way to murder someone would be... I told Sarah about some of this, lol, she didn't realize her girlfriend could be so demented obviously.

Saying bye to her though, it's always so hard. I didn't want to, but Melody had to go home, and it was already nice enough of her to let Sarah call me, plus Sarah's family was there. But, the goodbye was really really sweet and it just capped off a completely wonderful conversation and day.

My 16th birthday was really great and it gave me the ability to drive, which is something I hold VITAL to my life now, but, I don't know. So close. But I started talking to Sarah right before my 16th birthday and that was/is the best gift ever. Just for those reasons my 16th wins. But my 18th is just a fraction under it. Wonderful day and yes it meant a lot to me. Then it was capped off by talking to my girlfriend, who I love so much, and her wishing me a happy birthday and telling me she wished she was here... realizing that the best gift ever loves me as much as I do her and has for almost 2 years, that's something too!

Then this morning, I decided I'd go read a letter that Shorty wrote to me. I meant to last night, but I watched half of Lilo & Stitch and then collapsed on my bed. (I slept wonderfully actually) I don't know what to say really. I understand what she meant and it's REALLY nice to know, but, it was just me being myself. That's how I am, I don't normally turn someone away because they're different or they've had problems. Everyone's the same until proven different. Sarah would always be amazed when I did or said certain things and act like it was a big deal... but, it's not. That's just how I am. It is rather nice to be liked and loved for who you really are. See, Shorty, you didn't run from me when you found out about me being bi or about Jenna nor have you ever acted like Amanda. That was a huge thing. Cause at least now, I have people who I can be myself around. You, Jake, Lily, and Brian, who when I say I miss Sarah and that I love her so much, you guys don't go "WHAT?!?!?!? That's so gross" or whatever else. It's hard to keep a secret like that from everyone. It hurts already from missing her, but being able to say I miss her and such, and tell someone I got to talk to her, that makes the pain a little more bearable. But I have a game at 2, I have to get ready at 1 and I would like to finish watching Lilo & Stitch. Sorry this is so long, but, I wanted to write down everything that happened on my birthday.