trapped in a soap opera

i keep on fallin, greg's grandpa

Went to Greg's earlier to see AJ (this girl i was in girl scouts with when i was about 10) while we were there Greg's mom came by and told him that his grandpa had died. It was a very awkward situation. None of us knew what to do--Greg just kinda went on, hes in this big period of family is getting really important to him, and theres been a lot of shit goin on with his family right now. I dont know what to do, or what to say. At the same time i know hes just like me--he'll pretend it didn't happen until he actually has to deal with it. THe whole alternate reality thing.
I find myself attracted to him though, but cant do anything about it because of Robin and Perk--oh well, i should've taken him up on it the first night. Sometimes i feel like Greg is the only one who truly would understand the whole sex as a drug thing--ppl like me who couldn't stay faithful to someone no matter what they felt about them. I wish we could've talked tonight but Robin and Perk were there and there was the whole granpa thing so i felt my problems were insignificant. We've both been in kind of a thinking/reflecting mood though--would be nice to talk to him--oh well.

As for Perk, that is still a mystery--i think i am getting comfortable with him, and could see myself in a relationship with him, except for the whole monogamy thing--why can't more ppl be up for open relationships. I guess i could just let it stay this way for a while so i still have my freedom with permission, or i could just kinda do what i want and keep it under wraps. I knwo i sound absolutely horrible, but i just am jaded to the point that if something i really want to do comes along i'll fuckin do it (damn this sounds familiar from when i was with john, cept Perk isn't 5 hrs away so it would be harder to keep it secret). I don't fuckin know. i guess i'll just leave it at that like i always do. Got a Calculus test in the morning though so i guess i had better get to bed.