Life as we know it sucks

This is killing me, will you stop?

Current Mood: stressed

Current Music: If I told you this was killing me, would you stop? - The Juliana Theory

Man, I dunno. I'm so confused these days. With all this Jacob stuff. Man, I miss him. I miss him a lot. And I wish he'd tell me what he's feeling. All he said in reply to my email was: You have someone so I can have someone. It's only fair. Yes, but I love him. I love him! And I want him to know that he's hurt me.

The love of his life walked out on him, why should he take her back? WHY?! Why must this happen to me? What did I do to deserve this? I don't understand. I never ask to be sorry, I just want some answers. <sigh>

I'm so stressed. So depressed. I may never act this way around anyone, but I sure as hell feel this way. Everything's all hunky-dory at school. At home, I'm out sitting on the roof, ready to fling myself off it and end my life right there.

I don't think I'll ever have the guts to do it, though. Everyone's probably like, "Damn! I wish she'd just go kill herself." Don't worry - I ponder the idea in my head all the time. Don't you worry. Someone may get the satisfaction of my death, yet. Just don't fret. Another piece of worthless space will be gone.

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but i threw you the obvious,
just to see if there's more behind you.
eyes of a fallen angel,
eyes of a tragedy
but i see,
see through it all.
see through, see you