Monkeys

Novelty

Yeah, that novelty? It's gone.

It has become same old same old. They know I can't leave now, I don't have anyway. So it can all start again. And it has. Full force. The way thins used to be.

Well you know what? I want some things to be the same and others to not ever even try and be the same. But I do want Sarah, Dave, Buddha, Wu, Puc, Eric, Kato, Sota and Josh to come over tonight. And sprawl out on my floor. And I want Buddha to wear the Willy wig, and Wu to run from my camera, and Puc to sit in the corner and say "Meep" all night, and Eric to tickle me, and Sarah to hit me, or anyone for that matter with the bat, and Sota and Dave to wrestle and Kato could even touch my feet. (Yuck, but I'd let him for a whole mmmm 5 seconds before I ran.) And last but not least, Josh to hold me tonight when I sleep. Heck, I'd be content to just have everyone sitting there, looking at each other not speaking. Just being there. Then, at leats we'd all be together. And I could feel part of something. Someone.

Grrrr I don't know. I just feel like no one. Like I did a really stupid thing moving to MO in the first place. Then I would never have left all I did here- the good and the bad, and then I'd never have loved so many people, or fallen in love. Grrrrrrrrrr

I dunno. Disregard this. I just needed to vent.


~Beckie