My True Soul

A fairly normal day....?

I realized more about why I am the way I am today. My mom came in today and she'd forgotten something where she works, had to go back and get it, well, my dad offered to drive her back there because she'd been driving all day. Then she tells him that the blinkers on her car aren't working. Well, I didn't hear what all she said to him or what he did until she got back. He comes in the den door and slams it so hard that I expected it to break. The pictures all around the door shook and rattled. He wasn't screaming, just being loud, yells out a few choice cuss words and then starts telling me what's wrong with her car and how it's her fault that it messed up, it's cause she doesn't turn on the turn signals like he would, she's too rough with it. (Mind you, I didn't ask him to tell me this, I didn't say a word) He continues gripping and tells me that she left without him. My thoughts on this "yeah, she didn't wanna be around you" and then he tries calling her a little later. I already knew she wouldn't answer it even if she could hear it. About 10 minutes later she called back, I answered, he'd left to go get some part for her car, something. She told me she did hear her phone ringing and that if he had of answered when she called back, she woulda hung up on him. She told me that he'd started cussing at her before she left, cussed at the car, and then kicked the car several times.

So, what did I learn from this?
My dad comes in yelling about my mom's car like it's her fault. It wasn't her fault. No wonder there have been so many times with him that I've thought things were my fault. You make a mistake, he yells, screams, cusses, and just bitches about it. Even when you don't make a mistake, just something happens that involves something of yours, he fusses and screams like it was your fault that it messed up. Then he acts like he didn't do anything wrong. He never apologizes for showing his butt. He just does it and expects you to excuse him. I don't like being yelled at, it rattles me. I don't like being cussed at either when I've made a mistake or something of mine has messed up. I'm thinking that now there's been many times where I've taken things to be my fault when it wasn't, just because of how he's acted. I think that's a pretty sound theory

This happens quite often actually or maybe not quite as bad, but the same general mood.