The Never-Ending Ramblings...

Nothing near the truth

Whatever! I really need to find some Tylenol and Advil and take my Claritin. But for some reason, I keep doing other things. Why? Do I want to suffer with this horrible sinus headache? What’s wrong with me?

I did exercise this morning. Fourteen minutes of step aerobics, listening to blues music. During those few minutes, I felt glorious! Lately, I’ve dreaded working out, so enjoying it was great, making me think I could actually loose this weight. Even still, afterwards, the emotional self-induced beating began. Why does it matter what I weigh? You’ll never stick with it, Then for good measure, the verbal self-thrashing ventured onto other fields; work, marriage, motherhood. When I was finished, my glorious feeling a distant memory. I’m such an idiot.

Work at one but Autumn’s dropping me off at noon. It sucks not being able to drive. For that hour, I know Ben will think I’m on the clock, even when I tell him I’m not. And I’ll end up working some. I should go and hit on the wall, even for ten minutes. I’ll be happy about the additional exercise. I hate work at night. I hope it rains, then I’ll get to come home early tonight.

Come home to what? Everyone seems to fight all the time. We have too many animals and our time is spent on taking care of them. I love the birds, but not nearly as much as Bryan. I adore the Dobermans, and of course Kovu. None of them can intermingle. Which is a difference of opinion when raising them. I think they will all adapt to their surroundings. I wanted the Dobermans, we call them ‘the girls’ to be able to come into the den where the birds are but Bryan said no. I see thousands of pictures of birds and other animals, cats, dogs, but he thinks something will happen. So, I didn’t try. Cuz if something did happen, he’d blame me. So now, I blame him, because the cat, when he’s in the house, is shut up in one room( he comes in at night) the dogs only can be in the kitchen. And the birds in the den. All this separation takes more time, and is, at least to me more stressful.

Quick book update. Not happy with the book, but, I did meet the deadline. I’m setting a goal: write four to five hundred words a day on the book starting today. And, spend thirty minutes editing a previous chapter.