My Life on a Plate

Monday Blues

Just can't get enough sleep these days. Bad sign with me; it means I'm feeling pretty depressed. I wake up and just keep wanting to go back to sleep; there seems little to look forward to once I'm up. Robbie William's line 'I don't wanna die but I'm not keen on living either,' springs to mind. Dark side seems to be dominating lately. Combination of circumstances, weather, worries, feeling my age and self hatred I suspect. It's so easy to lie in bed and promise to smoke less, drink less, eat less, take more exercise etc. Why is it so bloody difficult to actually DO it?

I managed to produce the three horror assignments for writing yesterday. Maybe they've not helped my state of mind. I frighten myself how darkly I can write at times, but it's not really an area I'd choose to write. Maybe I should, as I read somewhere it's good therapy for facing our deepest fears etc. It just seems to stir things up for me though. I'm not talking blood and gore, vampires or ghosts but more the psychlogical horror, the realities of the human condition and how we react to them. I doubt I'll be posting any of them on here; they're only snippets and I don't plan on developing any of them. I am quite proud of 'Perfect' and 'Hush' however, if anyone would care to read them! They're in my 'On the Darker Side' folder and have received little feedback. Shameless plug!

My horoscope informs me I'll be my clownish self today and I'll be making others laugh and teaching them not to take things too seriously. Really? Right, better go and put on a smile, a red nose and a curly wig. Must get some custard pies at the supermarket too. Supermarket day - oh joy, bliss. Whoopdedoo.