My Life on a Plate

Thrones

What is it with men and armchairs? Or is it just mine? We're on our fourth three piece suite in twenty something years but still he has to have 'his' chair, placed in the same precise spot and a no go area for the rest of the family. Just as his backside has never introduced itself to the sofa, mine has never familiarised itself with 'his' chair. My son and I vary our seating spots but not hubby. Son is sometimes brave enough to park his bottom in THE chair but is soon booted out. 'Do you mind, that's MY chair.'

Then there's the falling asleep bit. I swear at times the chair has drugs in its upholstery. One minute he's watching some riveting television programme, next he's snoring. Even happens in the middle of a conversation sometimes. I wonder if I'm that boring and my readers fall asleep in the middle of my entries too.

Another mystery is why, when I creep up the stairs, leaving the open-mouthed snortler in 'his' chair, does he manage to wake up within ten seconds and then spend twenty minutes in the bog and bathroom making peculiar noises, while I toss and turn and curse?

This followed by the annoying habit of him falling asleep again before his head even hits the pillow. The snoring reaches brass band level and I really don't feel like moving beds. I try to roll him over, build a pillow dam which props him on his side but he still finds a way of rolling back. Rather than be tempted to fetch the carving knife, I relent and move to the spare bedroom.

Then in the morning he'll say he didn't sleep well. Pardon?

I'll leave the issue of men and the 'other' type of seat for another exciting entry, I have to get ready for swimming with Big Pam now. No illustration today, I do have photos of sleeping beauty in 'his' chair but even I'm not that cruel!

Not man-bashing honestly, just observing.