My Life on a Plate

With a Little Help from my Friends

I'm feeling a bit Eeyore and 'What's it all about Alfie' this morning. It's Monday, it's raining, it's supermarket day and it's hard to see much purpose. I could do with a friend to talk to.

What is a friend? The dictionary definition tells us 'a person who you know well and like.' If that is all, then I have no shortage of friends. But a dictionary can only give us the bare bones, an emotionless description and I believe there's a lot more to being a true friend than that.

Apparently, it was Friendship Week last week and I received the usual forwarded mail from people who are too busy to pick up the phone or pay a visit. 'A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words,' it claims. A bit flowery I know, but I rather liked that.

They say if you make one true friend in life then you have been lucky. I have friends from school days, college days, working days and present day but if I was asked to choose one to live with or even go on holiday with I'd be hard pushed. I love and value them all but there is always something that niggles me. Like the friend who just phoned in the middle of typing this who asked how I was initially, then launched into a half hour diatribe of her problems, requiring me to just add the odd murmer of understanding. I'm far from perfect but maybe I'm too much of a perfectionist. Just as I feel I never found true love, maybe I never found the friend who can sing the song in my heart. Maybe I expect too much from life and people. Or maybe I'm just a misery!

The problem on a day like this is finding a friend to talk to. Many live far away and a lot are still working. Others have their own plans and appointments. And what of 'online' friends? Can we really build a true friendship with someone we've never met? I've chatted to my friend Sarma in Australia for four years now and feel as close to her as to many of my 'real' friends. There has to be something special to hold on to a relationship that just involves a dialogue box on a screen. She's special alright.

And what of the Harry met Sally debate? Can men and women be friends without that 'sex' word entering into it. I think so. Two of my best friends are male and my online friend Paul in Canada I describe as 'the sweetest man I never met.' I've made some lovely friends on this site too but can't access the IM section, so have never chatted live to anyone. Not that I ought to, I spend enough time on here as it is and I'm quite satisfied to communicate through b...er...journals and mail.

So, maybe this morning my b...er...journal will have to be my friend. Somewhere to store those feelings of overwhelming sadness and lack of motivation. I hope I don't sound self-pitying, I know I have much to be grateful for but sometimes it's just not enough.