My Life on a Plate

Listless

Listless is how I feel this morning (self inflicted as usual) but I need to make a list of things to do today before my sister arrives to return our mother. (play music from Jaws here) Providing they manage to catch a train that is, always a question mark over that one in England.

Talking of England and lists, my friend John lent me a book called 'Journolists,' which contains 300 factual, fictional and funny lists. He knows I'm a listaholic. I find it a bit disconcerting that these are lists of ten but some are really hilarious, like 'The ten most pointless things in the world,' and Ten positive things about having no hair.' However, I thought it an idea to share the 'Divided by a common language' list although I'll reduce it to the five best ones, of course.

1. Gas - Americans get gas from a petrol station; Britons get gas from real ale.

2. Trunks - In the United States, trunks hold the spare tyres of cars; in Britain they hold the spare tyres of men on the beach.

3. Fall - Americans have falls after the long days of summer; Britons have falls after long nights in the pub.

4. Rubbers - Americans wear rubbers to go fishing; Britons wear rubbers when they don't want to catch anything.

5. Football - An American game where the players are in mortal danger; a British game where the spectators are in mortal danger.

If anyone presented an award for the b...er...journal that contains the most twaddle, I'm confident enough to say I'd be a serious competitor. lol Have a nice day as the Americans say.