My Life on a Plate

Say Cheese

One hundred entries. How did that happen and where did that time go? What makes this so easy to write and other projects so difficult? I suppose because it's just about life in general without the themes, plots, settings, dialogue, twists and turns of fiction writing. Think it must be the longest thing I've ever written. Shame it doesn't say very much though!

Had a fun evening last night with my sis and managed to fall into bed just as the sun came up and the dawn chorus started. Who needs sleep anyway? Yawn. Now, she's back home in Staffordshire and that empty feeling I always get after she's gone is settling. Still, we had plenty of laughs and an unexpected one too.

There's an advertisement on our television for an internet server, where a man on a small screen tells us he's talking to us from his webcam. He then goes on to praise the advances in technology that allow him to be seen by people on the other side of the world and concludes 'Isn't the internet wonderful?' It always receives a sour look and a derogatory remark from hubby. He does use the computers a lot actually, but chatting and making friends is not on his agenda. He has three 'friends' on his MSN list - me, our son and his daughter. Anyway, I digress.

I've seen a couple of my friends on webcam but have accepted (resentfully) it's something I'll never do as the suggestion of using a cam would give hubby a panic attack and he'd never approve of anyone actually seeing me. This could be due to the fact that I'm green, bald and only have one eye. Joking apart, it doesn't really bother me that much, it isn't of much importance in the great scheme of things and I think I'd feel a bit of a pratt sitting here knowing someone was watching and not knowing what they were thinking. Then there's the absent-minded ear scratching and underwear adjustments we make, which I'm sure would ruin some of the mystery and fascination of just typing.

For Christmas I received a digital camera, which I love. While reading the instruction manual I discovered it's supposed to double up as a webcam.

'Did you know this camera can be used as a webcam?' I asked him.

'No, I didn't. I didn't buy it you for that.' I suspect if he'd known, he wouldn't have bought it at all.

I've tried, unsuccessfully, to get to grips with the webcam feature. In the end I decided to give up as I'm not particularly bothered, although on the odd occasion it would be nice to wave to my sister or pull a face at a Scrabble opponent when I'm losing. On one afternoon hubby came into the spare room as I was fiddling with it and asked what I was doing.

'Just seeing if the webcam bit works.'

'Why, what do you want a webcam for?'

'Because I want to strip off and sit naked in front of the screen.' Scowly face, disapproving look, then he leaves the room.

No point trying to master the thing as it's obvious he'd disapprove, be constantly suspicious and make my life a misery so I've more or less forgotten it.

Yesterday, his daughter Louise arrived with her twin boys, one of them clutching a parcel, which he then handed out to granddad.

'What's this?' asked hubby.

'It's a late birthday present,' Louise replied. 'I sent away for it and it was late arriving.' She's a lovely lass is our Louise; she's not my daughter but I love her all the same. She's full of life and always smiling; obviously something she inherited from her mother, who had enough sense to get out!

Hubby opened his gift. You know what I'm going to say don't you? It's a webcam! I've been mentally RAFL ever since.

So now, he sits in front of the television, laptop set up on his knee with his brand new cam plugged in. All he needs now are some friends! God, I can be evil at times.