My Life on a Plate

A Seasonal Grump

It's past my bedtime; maybe I shouldn't start this, maybe I'll regret it in the morning but that's a feeling I should be used to by now. But, I've known for a while I would need to make this confession and what better time than now? It's late, I've supped a few wines and read a few blogs and feel the time is right to tell you...

I HATE CHRISTMAS

Okay, okay, call me any name you wish. Abuse me, curse me, ignore me or hate me. It's all been said before and no doubt will be again.

What gets to me about this time of year? The fact the hype starts earlier and earlier for one thing. When I shop for my son's birthday at the end of September the shops are already displaying all the over the top and overpriced goods associated with what is supposed to be a religious festival celebrating the birth of Christ.

The constant T.V. ads, the songs blasting in my ears in every shop I enter, (NO, I DO NOT wish it could be Christmas every day. ) the crazy people across the road who already have enough decorations and lights outside to blow the National Grid and the complete waste of time, money and resources are just a few of my objections.

I have better things to do than shop for presents no one needs, write on cards that will end up in the bin, put up decorations to collect dust and then need packing away a couple of weeks later and watch as the pretty paper we wrap gifts in is ripped off and disposed of.

I have better things to spend what little money I have on than cards, stamps, wrapping paper and gifts for people who already have everything. It's all about profit and greed and it gets right up my nose to put it mildly.

Christmas is for children I hear too often. Why? Don't most of today's children already have every expensive, top of the range item of clothing, technology and plaything? Do they really need trips to Lapland to see Santa, more toys, gadgets and technological equipment for survival? I find it obscene in a world where people are starving and living in poverty that we encourage our kids to be greedy and self indulgent.

And all this for one bloody day? A day when everything closes down so families can get together and want to murder each other? I've spent 25 Christmas mornings peeling sprouts and steaming puddings. I've spent 25 years avoiding the Queen's speech to the nation and gritting my teeth at my obnoxious brother-in-law who I never see for the rest of the year. (Thank God)

For those who get together with distant relatives and enjoy their Christmas I have no resentment. To those who find the whole thing magical and enchanting I wish no harm. But personally, I'd rather board a cruiser or go on a mission to another planet where Christmas is unheard of.

It's not even December but already the whole world is geared towards Christmas. BAH HUMBUG. I think you'll have gathered I'm not a fan of this time of year and a founder member of the grumpy old woman's club. I don't think I'll attract many members to my fan club but at least I'm honest...and tired...and inebriated..and going...Nighty night.