My Life on a Plate

Sweat Sweat Drip Drip

It's been a scorcher today. Now you know I'm not normally one to complain but there are some things I'd forgotten about really hot weather that can be very irritating.

Burglar alarms. At this time of year people go away on holiday and you can guarantee their burglar alarms will go off at least five times a day. I don't know why they bother setting them as no one ever investigates. We just assume it's the wind or a spider in the works and go about our business, cursing the constant wailing sounds.

Insects. Why is it when they have sunshine, fresh air and the whole world to fly/crawl/buzz in they prefer to queue up to get inside my house? Any open door or window seems to be an invitation for flies, spiders, wasps, beetles, woodlice, moths and other creepy crawlies to come inside. Sometimes my 'live and let live' attitude is difficult to keep up, as I seem to spend a hell of a lot of time attempting to catch the little blighters and return them to the outside world.

Children. Reminders that the long summer break is on the horizon are difficult to ignore when the sun shines. Squeals and rich vocabulary from every back yard, little faces peering over the fences and hedges as they bounce on their garden trampolines and quick dives into the bushes as teenagers on unlicenced motorcycles tear through the park are regular occurences. Bless their little cotton socks.

Men. Out comes the sun, off comes the men's clothing and we're treated to sights that should only be allowed after the watershed. Why is it always the ones with bald heads, beer bellies, skinny white knees and man boobs who think the world and his wife will appreciate being exposed to their excess flab?

Extra work. Dry weather means hanging out every washload which takes up precious time. Why is it the aforementioned half-naked men still insist on wearing socks? Pegging out twenty pairs can be very time-consuming. Then there's the plant pots and baskets. Three hot days and you can guarantee the government will start muttering about hosepipe bans. With no rain it takes ages to carry a tiny watering can around the garden.

You will remind me about all this when the winter returns and I'm grumping about the cold weather won't you? Not that I'm one to complain of course.

Oh, and for those who are waiting with baited breath, it is my pleasant duty to inform you mother is now unblocked.