My Life on a Plate

Questions For Smart People

Ever since we returned from Sardinia we've had problems with our computers. I get disconnected every few minutes on MSN, pages on WDC are taking ages to load and I'm saying 'This page cannot be displayed' repeatedly in my sleep.

I was led to believe it was due to the internet being over-subscribed with football fans placing bets and surfing the World Cup sites. But today it's been worse than ever and I can't think there are that many fans still glued to World Cup reports with only two more matches to go.

No, something is amiss but getting through to our server by phone is almost as likely as England ever winning a penalty shoot-out. Waiting in a queue of over eighty may just take up what time I have left on earth and the only recorded problem is associated with weather conditions. What weather conditions? It's dry and warm and windless. My friends up the road on the same server aren't experiencing problems, so is their weather different or something?

Very frustrating when our computers are modern, with plenty of disk space free and so-called speedy Broadband connections. Very frustrating too when I'm trying to keep up with blogs and mail. I have no idea what to do next; getting to speak to a 'real' person is seemingly impossible.

When I finally get into my hotmail account I discover the six unread mails are all forwarded jokes and such. These tend to irritate me, especially if they require downloading or I discover I've seen them before. But I did receive one today which amused me, so over the next few days I'll post it in parts. If anyone has seen it before I hope you'll keep quiet about the answers. Spoil the fun and risk Scarlett's wrath.

The test consists of four (NOT FIVE? ) questions for smart people. I know you're all exceedingly smart so I'll look forward to reading your answers.

First Question -

How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator?

Answer and second question tomorrow. I know you can't wait.