Ten-Finger Exercises

Beware! Beware! There's meter everywhere!

"We should have noticed when she began acting so peculiarly," said Bernard.

"Yes, we should have. Perhaps we could have done something about it then," replied Lucille.

"She hasn't always been like that, I don't think. Oh my, is that a double negative?"

"Ur, rather," mumbled Lucille, "but that's begging the question. She has been more like that than you know, perhaps. She didn't loosen up and show that side to everyone."

"Good heavens, no!" Bernard exclaimed. "As it was I felt quite in danger from loose springs that might shoot out, you know. Didn't you?"

Lucille looked at him disdainfully. "Sometimes I think you haven't a lick of sense," she said.

"Now be honest: have you ever heard her speak that strange language before? Or met those new friends she's been hanging around with? No. I thought not. And they all sound so much alike: iambs and dactyls and such. Can you tell them apart?"

"Hush now," Lucille warned. "Here she comes with another one of her ditties."


Anapest’s antipasto is great!
Dactyl, please hand me a plate of it.
Dactyl, the cantaloupes, cucumbers, olives and
Mushy trochees will not wait!
Iamb, you’re sure to get your share,
So don’t be standing pouting there.

"There's no doubt she's gone bananas," he trocheed softly.

"Oh no, I hope I don't contract it too!" she iambed hysterically.

"What's the matter with you two?" Wren asked. "Has the heat gotten to you?"

An awkward pause ensued.

"Darling Wren," began Bernard. "You look positively glowing this evening. What have you done to yourself?"

"Why, thank you, Bernard," Wren beamed. "I've written three poems--more like what you call 'ditties' actually, and I've blogged twice already. I may even have another one in me yet tonight."

"Well, uh, I must say, it certainly agrees with you. And what were the 'prompts' today, my love? Garbanzo beans, and things that make noise in your attic? Or was that yesterday?"

"It must have been a long time since you asked, my dear. I finished those ages ago. No, today's prompts were, "You have three extra, non-matching socks in your laundry," "wiggle worms," and,"Your main character has to keep blowing her nose."

"Ah, well, good show and all of that. I'll certainly look forward to reading them tomorrow. Don't forget now." Bernard turned quickly so that Wren could not see the face he made, and he exited, stage left.