Gemini Rising

Andrew's swim lesson

I read the other day in a parenting magazine that you can reward your child for good behavior. But REWARD them - don't bribe them. The difference?

A reward is set before you engage in whatever you doing. A bribe is set while he's doing it. I firmly believe in rewarding Andrew. I've noticed we get REMARKABLE results. For example:

Two weeks ago Andrew was afraid to pee in the big potty. So Brent offered him M&M's (probably more realistic and affordable) but I up'd the anty to a Thomas the Train piece for his train set. Andrew fussed and wined and went home empty.

THE VERY NEXT DAY...the first thing he did when he woke up was go to the big potty and PEE in it!! Of course Mommy went to get the Thomas the Train piece for his train set and he's been pee'ing and poop'ing in the big potty ever since.

Well, Brent finds this annoying. Claims Andrew should do it with little or no incentive, and I do see his point. I do. But if you want Andrew to take a step forward, he works best when he has motavation. No motavation and he's just happy to maintain the status quo and pee in the little boy's potty, so to speak.

Yesterday I took Andrew to my mother-in-law's house so her boyfriend, Richard could help Andrew practice his swim lesson. Andrew did great. (but I didn't set the reward before the lesson, that's where I went wrong...)

Andrew did the monkey crawl around the pool. He kicked his legs and held his breath underwater but when it came time to float on his back he admantly said "NO." So I said if he did it once w/Richard I would get him a train. (Bribe as opposed to Reward but I was despreate to motavate him at this point)

Now, I can't blame Andrew for his reluctance. He's a little guy. Richard promised to hold him, but Andrew said he was scared and we didn't push it.

Then it came time to get out. Andrew wanted his train. I told him no, he didn't float. He tried, bless his soul, he tried, but he was too scared to take the final step. Maybe today, he'll do it for Richard while I'm at work. Wouldn't suprise me none if he did.

Still, it never ceases to amaze me how Andrew is willing to move forward with a little incentive. But I must be more careful in the future to make it a reward and not a bribe.

Steph