Ten-Finger Exercises

Wren goes on, then stops

"Wren, I hear you've been harrassing people about the meaning of life again. Why don't you give it a rest?" asked Margot.

"I certainly hope I haven't been harrassing anyone. Where did you hear that? I know you haven't been reading my blog."

"I hear things, you know. And no, I'm not that desparate for gossip," Margot laughed.

"So, is it a real question then? Do you want to know why I keep bringing it up? Or do you just want to scold me for it?"

"Well, I heard you wrote a story saying that the meaning of life is rhubarb pie, and that's so preposterous I wonder what is going on in your head."

"It all has to do with my work, you see. At least, that's what got me started. A chaplain is supposed to tend to people's spiritual needs, but most people have those confused with religious needs and it's, "None for me, thank you all the same."

"I can understand that. I wouldn't care for it either. When I was in the hospital with that dreadful appendix, you came and visited me. But then you know I'm not religious, and so we just talked. I don't suppose you treat everyone like that though, do you?"

"I certainly don't force them to get down on their knees, if that's what you mean."

"Of course not. But you do pray with them, and read the Bible to them and what not, don't you?"

"If that's something they'd like. I might even bring them communion. Most religious people have their own church and minister for that though. I have to play it by ear."

"Do you get turned out a lot?"

"Not in the hospital usually. I try to talk like a normal, friendly person for long enough that I have built some trust. Then I can scold them for not going to confession and tell them they're going straight to hell if they don't stop smoking and drinking and carrying on."

"I do hope you're joking."

"Yes. That wasn't very nice of me. Sometimes I wonder though what people are afraid of. Probably things like that."

"So, you're saying that all you do is act nice?"

"No, there's a lot more than that, but I don't think I want to get into it now. The term 'spiritual assessment' might scare you."

"You're right about that. What shall we talk about then?"

"You could tell me how you're getting on with Fred. I saw his car coming out of your garage yesterday morning."

"You didn't!"

"Yes, I did."

"Oh, dear!"