My Life on a Plate

Humbug Horrors

The weather is terrible at the moment; extremely cold, frosty and foggy. I'm concerned about zwisis getting to Zimbabwe as there's many cancelled and delayed flights from Heathrow. I'll be relieved to hear she's arrived home.

I did manage a day out with my sister yesterday however; at least trains aren't affected by fog. We enjoyed our swim despite the few over-enthusiastic humbug-spirited teenagers now released from their classrooms. We enjoyed our meal and vino despite the paper-hatted, cracker-pulling office diners at several tables.

But if there's one thing guaranteed to put me off shopping it's the torture of humbug music. There is only so much anyone can take surely? I can just about manage to find five songs I'm able to tolerate -

1. Driving home for C******** - Chris Rea
2. A Winter's Tale - David Essex
3. Stop the Cavalry - Jona Lewie
4. Santa Baby - Eartha Kitt
5. Merry Xmas/War is over - John Lennon

Beyond that, the rest drive me to distraction. Most hated in order of venom -

5. Rocking Around the C******** Tree - Brenda Lee
4. Wonderful C******** time - Paul McCartney.
3. Merry C******** Everybody - Noddy Holder
2. Mistletoe and Wine - Cliff Richard
1. I wish it could be C******** Every Day. - Wizzard

That has to be the MOST irritating humbug song of all time.

I wish it could be C******** Every Day! WHAT? Three hundred and sixty five days a year of everywhere closing down and being stuck indoors with dysunctional family members? Three hundred and sixty five days of watching re-runs of The Snowman and the Wizard of Oz, not to mention the Queen's speech and the damned adverts with their sickening humbug jingles. Three hundred and sixty five days of freezing weather and six hours of daylight, with nowhere to go and no one to visit? Three hundred and sixty five days of clearing up wrapping paper and listening to over-excited kids squabble over toys? Three hundred and sixty five days of eating turkey and peeling sprouts? NO THANK YOU.

Ahem...that's better...Did I ever tell you I'm not very keen on C********? Fa La La.

So, what humbug songs do you like or detest?