My Life on a Plate

Ooops I Did it Again

I stepped out from the gym this morning, walked to the car park, misjudged the edge of the kerb and went thud on the floor yet again. That's three times in less than a year and I promise I've been sober each time. That's the reward you get for a two hour gruelling workout.

So now I have a chunk missing from my elbow and a bruise on my thigh the size of Australia. I'm amazed I've survived to this age.

I've always been accident prone and am surprised I've never actually broken a bone or suffered serious damage. Touching wood.

As a child I can't remember a time I didn't have a scab on my knees or a lump on my head. My mother constantly complained about me walking with my head down and consequently bumping into lamposts. She stopped complaining the day I decided to walk with my head up and trod in a pile of dog shit. lol

It's a well known fact my grandfather carried me on his shoulders to the casualty department at the hospital more times than I can remember. Been run over twice, sprained both ankles jumping a whole flight of stairs and had many sports injuries.

In later life I've been involved in three road accidents, been bitten twice by dogs, needed stitches after falling in a stream and cracking my head on a rock and needed surgery abroad after a cactus needle embedded itself in my toe.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. Something is conspiring to get rid of me. But then considering my parents are from different planets I have to conclude my arrival on earth was an accident in itself. But it seems, like dandruff, I'm not that easy to get rid of so I will take my battered, wounded old body up the stairs to Bedfordshire and hope to be able to get out of bed tomorrow.

What about you? Are you a clumsy clot and what sort of accidents have you had?