Idjit or Genius, Who Knows?

New house may be very dark!

I planned to set up all the utilities in the new house today, but, silly me, I started with the phone. It took over four damn hours! I must have researched every phone company on the planet, each one waiting until the very last instant to inform me that they didn't have high-speed internet in the area. I will not go back to dial-up, even if we have to default on our deposit on this house and buy another one. Lucky me, I finally discovered the local cable company, and they do phones, internet, and cable. By this time it was 3:35 p.m. here, which is 5:35 p.m. there, so everyone else was closed.

This has screwed up my whole schedule! Okay, fine, I can do my new cell phone on-line, right? Sort of. If I were a terrorist, or even just someone intent on committing fraud, I would have had no problems. Instead, I gave a real address. It doesn't exist. Never mind that I have a mortgage company willing to fork out several hundred thousand dollars for the joint, it isn't there. Okay, use my husband's business address. Nope, can't use a "c/o" in your address. Fine, now he owns that place. What do I care, it's just a place for them to deliver the new cell phone. Pick a phone, suuuurrre. I'll just do that. How? What features do I want? Well, it should ring. I should be able to say "Hello" and then hear someone else talking.

Not so fast, toots, you've got to pick a style, video reception, radio reception, internet capabilities, camera resolution, text messaging, and on, and on, and on... I just want a damn phone. I don't watch T.V. on it, or listen to the radio, or take pictures, or any other crap. I need to be able to phone either a) my husband to come get me if he can figure out where I am, or b) the cops to come get me because no one else can zero in on the phone. Yes, I spend a lot of time lost whenever I move.

So, a good two hours later, after sorting through all this crap three times, I find a company which actually will provide a phone that might work where I will be living. There are no guarantees, of course. They still want a two year contract, but they don't promise the phone will work anyplace I'm likely to be. I am now awaiting the delivery of a phone, to a place I don't own, to a name which isn't mine, and it may or may not be more than a really light paperweight.

So, I quit. I've done enough swearing for one day, I'm through. I come here, only to find out the one person I'm looking forward to meeting in Michigan is going to be in Ann Arbor this weekend. I won't be, but she will! It's not fair. Eventually, we will get together; eventually, the new house will be put together; eventually, I will be able to have the nervous breakdown to which I am so richly entitled. Just not yet.

Tomorrow I'll find out if I can get electricity to a non-existent address.