Second Helpings

In Dreams

Do you ever have dreams you can't relate to at all? Last night I had the recurring lost handbag one, followed by the back in the classroom and struck dumb one, which isn't a stranger to me either. Both are illogical as I've never once lost a handbag and even if I wasn't the best teacher in the world, I was always organised and well-planned.

But then, shame on me, I had one of those more explicit ones. I don't mind admitting I do have the odd X rated dream and have no objections on the whole. My main complaint is that generally the starring role is not played by anyone I'd wish it to be. My dream analysis book informs me this is quite normal; for some obscure reason the psyche chooses to substitute the object of our desires with someone else we know. Maybe it's to avoid too much disappointment when we wake up to reality.

But, the one I had last night involved a perfect stranger. Now, much as he was exceedingly good-looking and probably the type I'd swoon over if I wasn't past my sell-by date, I'm not and never have been someone who gets into heavy petting situations with someone I don't know from Adam. Does this mean my brain has become loose?

My horoscope this morning read, 'An instant attraction to a fascinating new person in your life could take you by surprise today,' which seemed rather relevant and possibly an omen. So, I've scoured the supermarket aisles, searched the cupboards in La La Land and studied the specimens at the gym, but alas, nowhere have I spotted my handsome hunk from last night.

Proof that horoscopes are probably a load of crap and grumpy old women shouldn't eat cheese last thing at night. I guess Mr Wonderful will have to remain where most of my fantasies belong.

In my Dreams.

Dream lover, where are you- with a love oh so true,
And a hand that I can hold, to feel you near when I grow old?

Dream Lover - Bobby Darin