Second Helpings

The Camel's Back

Another day in paradise. Another bombshell drops in the Scarlett household.

Yesterday while I was out shopping with Big Pam, hubby dropped in to see Mey Ling and Angel, as he tends to do when I’m not around. Don’t get me wrong; I know they need help and support, but sometimes I think he goes above and beyond with family, to the exclusion of the rest of the world and is inclined to bail them out a little too often.

While he was there, he took a phone call which confirmed something I’ve suspected for a few weeks now. Not a complete and utter shock when he told me last night, but still not something I wanted to hear at this stage and under the present state of affairs.

It seems I’m going to be a bona fide grandma. Under normal circumstances not bad news and I’m sure some will still think it’s a positive announcement. But for us, it’s just yet another worry with a lot of unusual and not particularly pleasant implications. We feel so saddened that both our son’s wedding announcement and now this one have been reasons for tears rather than joy.

I couldn’t list my concerns. It would go way over five and some of them are perhaps left unsaid. But all I see is a family with financial, physical, cultural and emotional problems, sinking further into the mire. Maybe it’s just my negative view of the world right now.

Paul is working full time, returning home to tackle housework she can’t do because of her disabilities and caring for someone else’s child. He already admits he’s tired and sleep is disturbed with Angel only being sixteen months old.

Mey Ling is isolated, has few contacts here, is unable to go out without help and has admitted she gets fed up of being stuck at home all day with only Angel for company. Her language is limited; her physical limitations make it difficult to look after one baby, never mind two and her chances of attending classes or receiving medical help with her problems I assume will now not be possible.

Angel has undergone a lot of trauma and changes in her short life and although she’s seemingly adapted pretty well and is at present a lovely little girl, I fear another baby on the scene is going to cause more than the average amount of problems for her. I realise children are flexible creatures, but I feel sorry she will not receive the attention she so needs at her tender age once another child arrives.

The only thing I can keep saying to myself is that once they move to be nearer to Paul’s work, then it will be a lot more difficult for us to become over-involved and hubby will be forced to make them handle the situation more themselves. I have confessed they seem to be managing on the surface and not unhappy, so maybe it will prove not to be the dilemma I see it as right now.

I haven’t seen them yet since the news, but that’s a good thing in my mind as I don’t think I could utter any congratulatory words or not express my anger. If that sounds cruel then so be it; there always has been and still is a lot more to this whole bizarre story than I could ever reveal simply by blogging.

All I’ve ever wanted from life as far back as I can remember is some peace of mind. I’m convinced I’ll never achieve it in this life and maybe some of that is my own fault. I may eat my words in the future if things turn out swimmingly, but at this moment in time all I see are an almost insurmountable amount of problems in every direction I look.

Still, it will be seven months before my first official grandchild is born. I guess I shouldn’t worry about it yet and attempt to switch off my latest mass of whirling thoughts. After all, who knows what tomorrow brings? I can relate to that old cliché more times than I care to.

Apologies for not reading and commenting at the moment; my concentration has gone to the wind yet again and my alcohol consumption hit an all time high. I know there are no answers in bottles, but I don’t see any coming from anywhere alcohol free either. Maybe we better get in some champagne to wet the baby’s head come September. Every cloud has a silver lining to use another worn-out cliché.