Ten-Finger Exercises

Merton, cats and dogs

Margot was headed for her driveway when she spotted Wren, sitting on the front porch, enjoying the first warm day of spring and reading a book. Abruptly steering her car to the right, she slid in beside Wren's Prius, turned off the ignition and strode across the lawn.

"How do you like it?" Margot called. "Isn't it super!"

"It's terrific, and it certainly suits you, but I thought you said you'd gone green. It isn't a hybrid, is it?" Wren asked.

"Well, it's British racing green. That's good enough for me." Margot made a face, and Wren laughed. "Want to go for a ride?"

"No, not right now, I don't think. I was just finishing this page, and then I need to get the potatoes peeled for supper. Maybe tomorrow though, if you're up for it. I'd love an excuse to go up to the lake if the weather is as nice as it is today."

"I think I could manage that, if I finish up with my client by lunchtime. So, what are you reading? Anything I might want to borrow?"

Wren replied, "Oh, I don't think it's anything you'd be interested in."

"Too intellectual for me?" Margot chided. "Try me."

"It's Thomas Merton," Wren said. "Here, I'll read you this bit. I think it's rather wonderful."

My Lord, You have heard the cry of my heart because it was You Who cried out within my heart.
Forgive me for having tried to evoke Your presence in my own silence: it is You Who must create me within Your own silence!

"Is that about enough?" Wren asked.

"No, go on. It's a bit over my head, but I want to hear the rest. There isn't much more, is there?"

Wren laughed. "All right. Let's see....
‘You are not found in the Temple merely by the expulsion of the money changers.
You are not found on the mountain every time there is a cloud. The earth swallowed those who offered incense without having been found, and called, and known by You.
If I find Him with great ease, perhaps He is not my God.
If I cannot hope to find Him at all, is He my God?
If I find Him wherever I wish, have I found Him?
If He can find me whenever He wishes, and tells me Who He is and who I am, and if I then know that He Whom I could not find has found me: then I know He is the Lord, my God: He has touched me with the finger that made me out of nothing.'

"There, what do you make of it?"

"I'll give it a go. He's saying that God doesn't come to us on our own terms, and we can't find him wherever and whenever we might want to. God is bigger than all that. Am I close?"

"I'm impressed."

"You won't be when I go on."

"What do you mean?"

"I think God is like a cat, and we want him to be like a dog, waiting for us and wagging his tail. Instead, he comes if and when he chooses. Like my cat Chloe, who occasionally graces me with her presence. Rascal wants my attention full time, but I don't think God's like that, do you?"

Wren stared at her a minute, then said, "No. And I think that's very clever of you. Maybe I'll bring the book along tomorrow on our ride."

"Oh please don't. That's enough philosophizing to last me for the year. But it was fun. Thanks for not laughing at me," Margot said.

"I hope I would never laugh at you when you were being serious. I won't bring the book tomorrow, but I might tell you why that passage is important to me."

"Well, maybe. But I might rather get away from thinking and just go have fun. I'll call you tomorrow," she said, as she turned toward the car.