Snow Melt

I am working until July 29

Istijlál (Majesty), 5 Kalimat (Words), 165 BE – Thursday, July 17, 2008 about 2:36 PM PDT

I will work until July 29, then school is out until August 25. Between the July 29 and August 25 I will work the primary election polls and get a new set of teeth. I am attempting to sound optimistic and I am not.

All I can see right now is darkness. The problem is financial. Mom is optimistic that things will get better, but I am not sure now. I need to bring in more money, but I don't see how I can do it. I can't draw Social Security until December 24, when I will turn 62. Even then it won't be a lot, not enough to pay the bills anyway. However, between Mom and me perhaps we will be bringing in enough money. It is between now and December that is the problem.

I keep doing stupid things that get me deeper into debt. At the time I do them they don't seem stupid, it's only after the bills come in that I realize how stupid I was and it is too late. This is getting to be a depressing entry, but I am depressed this afternoon. I write about the problem because it usually helps me to find a solution if I write long enough. However, this is the second entry I've made on the subject and I haven't found a solution yet.

The first entry was in my off line journal, Writing My Spiritual Journey. I wrote a long letter to Baha'u'llah in that journal. That letter was about 670 words. I know there is a solution, I know there must be a way even with my lousy credit score to get more money, but I just can't see it.

My virus scan is scheduled for 3:00 PM Pacific Time, so I think I will get off line and let the scan do its thing while I say some prayers and meditate. After that I will see what solution I can find, maybe I am taking the wrong approach to this entire matter.