The Undiscovered Country

What's up.

*cough, cough*

My it's dusty in here. Didn't the maid stop by to clean things? Dang that girl. Oh well, I guess you get what you pay for even with the hired help. When you offer nothing for a service, you should expect, well, nothing.

Let's ignore for a moment I'm that girl.

Remember last January I decided not to attend the annual Christian Writers Guild Writing for the Soul conference in 2008? Well, if not, here's your reminder. I couldn't go because Thomas was due two weeks prior to it. No way was I going to leave a newborn for four days. Plus I didn't know how I would feel, or even if I could afford it with all the doctor bills.

I canceled and asked for my fee back, but they suggested I defer it to the next year. I figured why not. There was always a chance I could make it to the 2009 conference as long as it didn't fall on my son's birthday. Nothing's going to keep me from celebrating Thomas' first birthday!

Well it doesn't. In fact it's over a month later.

I still hesitated on deciding to go though. As the early bird deadline approached I leaned more and more with not going. I was still paying off doctor bills and credit cards, plus even 8-9 months out, plane tickets out of Bismarck skyrocketed to over $600. I checked a week ago, and they reached $752 for the cheapest ones.

Insane doesn't begin to describe those prices. And that's for one person! Sorry, but when I add in the hotel stay, no way could I afford it.

I mentioned before taking the "Experiencing God" Bible study. Last week the focus was on obeying God and how obedience can be costly to us and those around us. Frightening stuff when I thought about it. Not only do I not want to sacrifice anything in my life, but to make my family sacrifice, too? Yikes.

But then it hit me. Sure, following God is a commitment that can cause hardship with me and those I love. At the same time, however, how can I expect my son to follow God if I don't? I'm his first teacher, and the best teaching I can give him is by example.

Something else occurred to me. By doing God's will, he won't leave my family out to dry. He loves them far more than I ever will. I must be willing to acknowledge that God is in control and has my family's best interest as well as mine. I also remembered though I may have lost a few things by obeying God, in the end I didn't miss them. God's reward for following him exceeded anything I could have imagined.

At the same time I kept receiving advertisements on the conference from multiple sources unrelated to each other. The subject of a few blogs I read had also concentrated on writing conferences. I then found plane tickets out of Dickinson - a town about 1-1/2 hours away - for almost half of what Bismarck charged.

I then decided perhaps God was telling me I needed to go to the conference. For why I don't have a clue, or at least I'm not going to speculate. God loves surprises too much.

I already know I will miss my son terribly, but I also know my husband will take good care of him. I have no need to worry about that. I just hope he doesn't miss me too much, or forget me while I'm gone.

My focus now will be sifting through my articles to see if any will fit with the attending publications and polishing up once again my novel. In looking through the list of publishers so far slated to be at the conference, I found one that looks promising. I have much to do, and six months isn't that much time to complete it all.

In the meantime, I still want to finish my novella for self-publication.

If I'm around even less than I have been, don't be surprised.

I do apologize for not visiting you, but I've accomplished much in my absence so far. You all take wonderful care of yourselves and each other, and I'll see you when I see you.

Bu-bye!