The Waiting Game

Addiction

It's an illness of sorts you could say. And for those who have to watch someone the love or care about going through it, it's heartbreaking. I can happily say that a family member is clean and better. But a good friend of mine on WDC is struggling with alcohol, and watching that train wreck is pure torture for me. I have tried my best to be there, but now it's clear that there is nothing I can do. So I've walked away. Nothing worse than a mean drunk. So, YP, I seriously hope that you are able to pull yourself out of this situation and take care of yourself. I still have faith that you can do it.

As for me, and my emotional state, I can't seem to stop crying. They come out of no where, and I wish I could stop it, but I can't. R has been great, very comforting. I do find myself depressed, wishing I'd seen him when I got back from overseas, but I can't change that. I am so numb, and yesterday I was helping my mother go through his things. That is so strange. I feel like I am being nosy, spying on his privacy. So many things we found too. My mother's and two uncles report cards, old pictures, hospital records, death certificates, such a rich history. The man saved everything. I swear he kept logs of every dime he ever spent. Knew where all the money went. Who does that now adays? No one. We spend what we don't have and don't bat an eyelash over it. But not for that generation. They knew where it all was. Truly amazing.

I made a pact with myself to start writing at least an hour everyday. Made a schedule too. Some days I penciled in two hours, and I did do the hour yesterday. I need to finish writing my quickie entry tonight and get it posted by noon tomorrow. It was a good prompt and I knew right away what to write, so that's a good thing.

Well, I need to order dinner. We can eat in thirty minutes. I am starving today and have a killer headache that I need to take care of.

Oh, one last thing. Yesterday was the start of the last week on the meds. 5mg. Woots! Let's hear it for a healthy Theresa. I am so looking forward to that.

Live, Love, Laugh - Always