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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/619081-Chapter-3-Bad-Experiment
Rated: E · Book · Comedy · #1496620
An experimental American Novel with Anime style comedy/slapstick.
#619081 added December 14, 2008 at 6:04pm
Restrictions: None
Chapter 3: Bad Experiment
Speechless, Joe reflected on his unfortunate experience of having Taira as a patient.

Masanobu Takahashi was not a Taira at birth. His father had made hundreds of millions in business. Nevertheless, no amount of money changed the fact that his family was mere merchants. To form a relationship with royalty, his father had maneuvered an arranged marriage between his son and Kiyoko Taira. The Taira ancestors included former Emperors, which were considered the elite of the elites.

Masanobu took on his wife’s name and had his name moved to her family tree. The Japanese government painstakingly kept records of the family tree for each of its citizens. Generally, when a woman married, her records were moved to her husband’s family tree. She not only changed her name, but she literally became a new member of her husband’s family. However, sometimes the husband moved to the wife’s family, which is how Masanobu became a Taira.

Initially, Masanobu felt lucky marrying Kiyoko, who seemed shy and caring. Unfortunately, after their honeymoon, he learned more about Kiyoko than he wanted to know. Frankly speaking, she was a loudmouth who had an opinion and criticism for everything from how Masanobu parked the car to his business decisions. Once a vibrant businessman, Mananobu’s nerves were gradually shattered. Over time, he deteriorated into a madogiwazoku, or a member of the window-seat tribe – those workers who have proven themselves unreliable and given decreased workloads.

Concerned, Masanobu’s father hired Joe to revitalize his son’s shattered energy. At first, Joe refused to get involved with marital affairs. As the saying goes in Japan, “Even a dog doesn’t bite at a married couple’s brawl.” However, he ultimately succumbed to the money and took the case.

Unfortunately, all text book treatments failed to revive Masanobu’s dismal self-esteem. Under considerable pressure for results, Joe infused him with a rare human energy element called Human Energy Element Number 100. The sample came from Joe’s own body. Although hopeful, Joe didn’t know how Masanobu would react to the treatment.

On the night Masanobu completed the infusion of the experimental energy, the Tairas were having a birthday party for Kiyoko at her father’s mansion in Kamakura.

During dinner, Masanobu excused himself from the table to use the restroom. Everyone’s jaws dropped when Masanobu returned wearing an ancient Japanese warrior’s armor with the traditional long and short swords secured to his side.

“Damn, Taira Clan!” Masanobu shouted, removing the long sword from its case.

He terrified everyone at the party, except for his wife.

“You’re wearing the armor backwards!” she yelled.

Suddenly, as though coming out of a trance, his face turned white. “I’m deeply sorry for my rudeness!” He got on his knees and bowed his head down to the ground.

“You are really worthless!” Her hands were on her hips. “Can’t you do anything right!” Her voice screeched like fingernails clawing a chalkboard.

Masanobu lifted his head. “You devil woman. I can’t take it anymore!” He pulled out the short sword to commit hara-kiri, or suicide.

Before penetrating the sword into his own stomach, Kiyoko’s two brothers jumped on him, took his swords, and restrained him.

The family kept the embarrassing incident from being leaked to the public. However, behind the scenes, they blamed Masanobu’s father for his son’s outlandish behavior. In turn, Masanobu’s father harshly rebuked Joe for negligence. Joe apologized, but secretly blamed the incident on Masanobu’s stupidity.

Gzzz, gzzz! ... the lights flickered in Joe’s examining room.

“How about it, Sensei,” Taira asked. “Can I have some of the energy source. It felt so good the last time!”

Joe looks at Taira for a few moments in disbelief.

Smack! ... Joe jumped up and kicked Taira in the nose.

“Are you an idiot? Of course I’m not going to infuse you with that energy source again.”


© Copyright 2008 uchinanchu (UN: johnhiga at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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