Wheel of Fortune

The Hierophant

Christmas Day and I've pulled the Hierophant card. In traditional Tarot decks---this is the card of the Pope---quite a good fit for Christmas Day----Pope Benedict prays for peace throughout the world---as we all do.

Having a lovely, simple Christmas morning---and then off to my ex-husband's for Christmas dinner and celebrating with son and the grandkids. We are an odd mix of family---but this is my personal tribe.

I've made a beautiful savory roast with parsnips, anise seed glazed carrots, and even produced a Yorkshire pudding! Ex-hubby has made my favorite stuffed cabbage----and we will be imbibing German apple wine-----

Christmas will be simple and joyful this year!

My husband's work is being closed for the next two weeks---till Jan. 5th----finances will remain tight----but in a way, I'm grateful----because of my cast I need a little extra help getting showered and dressed in the mornings for work---having him home will make things easier for me----I'm so grateful for everything he does to make my life function----with and without a fractured arm. He attended my office Christmas party---and as always---people (women)---always tell me how handsome he is! He is, he is----but he doesn't think so-----and that's part of his charm, too. We met via a personal ad in the paper---and we spoke by phone for about 2 weeks before we met. I already was smitten with him because of his humor, our similar interests, a sense of his innate kindness. When we met, my first reaction was, "He is so good-looking...he'll never like me...". That was 15 years ago, and we are still together.

I've always struggled with my weight....but David has loved me thinner, fatter, and in-between. I was overweight when we met----but at a lower weight than I am now----but he loved me anyway.....I've been at a stable weight for about 2 years now----when the cast comes off Jan. 27th----I'm hoping to resume exercise and a more sensible diet....my blood pressure has been elevated and I need to start taking care of that.

I'm a nurse but don't do well at looking after my own health. I basically distrust most of modern medical practice....

We do well with acute problems, but not so well with chronic disease.

I don't want to live to be 80 years old and then deteriorate slowly into dementia and ill-health as the people that I care for....no one wants to die prematurely, but living without a certain quality of life seems pointless. Many of my residents, those that are not cognitively impaired, express to me, that they wish they could die, are ready to die, find no point in their existence.....At times, I understand their frustration and depression.

I know spiritually that every human life is precious and sacred....but we can maintain life
beyond a point where there is joy and meaning in that life. I certainly have no answers to this....I care for the people in my care with compassion, dignity, and professionalism---but much of the time wonder about a better way. And the profit-making basis for the company I work for is also a factor.....Their bottom line is always more important than quality of care...truly excellent care would simply cost too much....

heavy thoughts for Christmas Day!

Blessings!