Down the Rabbit Hole

I get by with a little help...

Yesterday was something of a red letter day, first I find out the baby is a girl. I never realized how much I had been hoping for a girl until I knew I was going to have a daughter. It feels perfectly right. Then, I found out my story went live on OystersandChocolate and is featured very first on the opening home page. Very cool! The day rapidly cooled at the end though. Another bedtime argument left me feeling down despite the wonderful news of the day. It is strange how some moments can be so saturated with joy that you have difficulty even taking full breaths and some can leave you feeling so drained and despondant. I miss my friends. I worry that now with the baby, something will change and it is like I ache to preserve things with them right now for as long as I can. The thought about spending a few hours just being myself and hanging out and laughing with them, was just awesome to contemplate. I feel as if I am going through so many changes lately, that just to have that kind of moment, is really important. I feel lonely a lot lately...my sister is far away, my closest friends live out of state...I don't really have a relationship with my sister-in-laws or my own mother for that matter. I think during this time of my pregnancy, I feel those estrangements particularily strongly.