Can we talk?

Family

    Friends come, friends go. (Don't try to convince a teen of that.) But your family is always there, at least most families.
    If your family isn't embarrassing you, irritating you, annoying you, or making you really angry at least once a month,more often if you're 21 or younger, they're not doing their job. Aunts, uncles, great-whatevers, parents, siblings, step-parents. It's all the same. They're flawed people, and they're gifted at getting under your skin.

    But when you need surgery, or wreck the car, or you lose someone, that family will be there for you. They'll grieve with you at the graveside, throw rice at your wedding, And they're just family. They don't have to be perfect. We just take them the way they are, flaws and all. I knew two brothers who always disagreed, even in their 50's. Their sister told one who was complaining, "Yeah, but he's ours."  Another man told me that he was 40 before he learned to love his father, but when his father died, he missed him almost beyond bearing. A grown man once told me about the personal problems he was having, and he was afraid to tell his parents. (See? We never get over it.) I told him to tell them, let them love him, and give them a chance to help carry his burdens. Family isn't just there to pat us on the back, but to give us a shoulder to cry on, too. I was right. He was surprised at how accepting and supportive they were.

    What I'm saying is: Don't be so hard on your family. Overlook the little things. Develop a thicker skin. Get angry when necessary, but find some other way to deal with it. Don't shun a family member. Look for kind deeds to do, not just for strangers, but also for someone in your family who regularly irritates you. Your actions will change your attitude; we seldom change others, but our own attitude can change through our actions.

    And no matter how much you love someone, you can't fix them by criticizing him or his friends or spouse. You might know better how he should live his life, but you have to let him make his own decisions. You don't want anyone telling you what to do, right? Neither does that brother or sister. Just be there. Be a source of love and support. The Beatles summed it up well: "In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make."