Down the Rabbit Hole

Shortages

Most days I feel as I am running on empty. The last few weeks it seems I have been continually sick and tired. On the plus side, I feel like I've finally settled into natural motherhood. I feel comfortable with the duties and responsiblities and I'm no longer kept awake by fears and anxities so apparent in the early days of living with a newborn. Jaden is becoming more and more independant and it is with sheer joy that I watch her personality emerge more and more each day. With her one year birthday a month away, it seems appropriate for me to put a little more energy back into caring for myself. I need to get into better health, better shape, a better mental place. I need to embark on some new projects and finally finish few others. My novel needs to be written, if just in draft form, before the end of 2011. It is the one deadline I really need for force upon myself. My overall writing
output has been critically low but I have virtually no excuse for not working on something that in essense, is already pretty well written. As difficult as the subject matter is at times, there is a beauty to it. This is the work that will speak volumes about who I am, not only as a writer, but as a person. It is important to me, it is as simple as that. My life is wonderful and full. The future holds untold opportunities and experiences to write about but if I don't preserve the past before the memories and pain fade completely away, I will have lost something very precious to me. I will have lost the chance to tell a story, not only about one man's life, but about how adversity and tragedy can give birth to hope and promise. I just need to squeeze a few more minutes out of the day to start to put it all together. Today I made the decision to start with an the ending, which when you look at the entire project, makes a lot of sense.