More Snow Melt

As the days, grow longer

Jalál (Glory), 8 Jalál (Glory), 168 BE – Saturday, April 16, 2011 about 6:17 PM Pacific Time

As the days, grow longer the more I want to simplify my life and the harder it seems to become. I could live well with just a two-bedroom apartment that has a kitchen and living room. I might even enjoy living in a one-bedroom apartment if it were just me.

Mom likes the house; she believes Grandma and Grandpa lived in this house. Mom does not remember that her parents are dead. Mom does not remember we buried them in Blackwell, Oklahoma. Some of the things Mom believes amuse me. It is not because they are funny; it is just because she thinks they are true even if they are only Alzheimer’s illusions.

As the days, grow longer I am looking forward to finding Mom an adult day care. There is one close to the house, which will send a bus to pick her up. I am not sure how that will go over because Mom does not like me to get out of her sight. I know that it is separation anxiety. Mom is afraid that she will never see me again. She is afraid that I will leave, not tell her where I am going and never come back.

As the days, grow longer I am looking forward to find a way to unstress. I want to write all the time, but I cannot because I need to relax and look for subjects and themes. I want to walk in a park or go to one of the museums. I want to go on the strip and watch tourist. I want to spend some time alone, without worrying about what Mom is doing or hearing her crying. I want to go shopping and buy something I do not need, but want.