Mercy! Mercy! That Dang Nabed PERCY!

The Body Shop Diet

The Body Shop Diet

Well Monday my blog hit 1700 views. I’m not sure what that means, if anything… About an average of 8 views per day.

In recognition of that milestone I have decided to formulate a diet. As you might be aware the doctor said I had to lose forty (40) lbs. That at 190 lbs and standing 6 feet tall I needed to weigh no more than 150 lbs. He then went on to question what I weighed in my twenties and pointed out that in the last hundred years peoples average weight has risen by more than fifty (50) lbs. That in the Civil War (Look at the old pictures) the men were pretty thin.

Anyway I decided to start a long term weight reduction program and try and achieve the goal he set for me. I have started on my own personal diet which I call the “Body Shop Diet.” It is actually very simple. It has a macro component and a micro component.

The macro component says limit your eating to three times a day… eat slower by chewing your food more leisurely and quitting when you are full. Despite all those poor children in China, I no longer feel obligated to clean my plate. Indeed leaving food on it when I feel the edge come off my hunger is a good thing not a bad thing. Eating too much is as bad as eating too little. Why is that so difficult to understand?

The micro component goes like this. Most of us know the foods and drinks that are responsible for the gradual weight gain that has slowly taken place in our lives. I've lifted a page from my One Act Play Course which limited my critique of a student’s work to three things most in need of fixing. In some cases there were more than three things, however, I didn’t want to beat a dead horse and limited my negative commentary to three things. “Fix these,” I would say “and the play will be much improved. “ Now I know you are wondering how these relate to the “Body Shop Diet.”

The answer is simple…since you know the three things most responsible for the sad state into which your body has fallen, then eliminate the three most onerous culprits. In my case the three are French Fries, White Bread and Sodas. I have quit eating and drinking these.

Now before you start chuckling, let me emphasis that this is not called the “Lawyer’s Diet.” By this I mean don’t try sticking to the letter while you make substitutions that are just as bad; for example mashed potatoes, wheat bread slathered with butter and jelly or sweet tea and cool aid with a half lb of sugar poured in. If you find yourself pigging out on closely related substitutes… that is contrary to the spirit of the diet and this is a spiritual journey. It’s not the letter that’s important, it’s the idea.

It’s a slow process to reverse the consequences of an eating disorder that has evolved slowly. Notice there is no exercise component to this diet. I don’t recommend entering a Triathlon as a supplement for dropping some extra lbs or expecting a health club to solve the problem for you. By all means take the dogs for a walk and stay active in the garden or some other activity but the diet is aimed at poking less food in your mouth, particularly the type that is most responsible for the current sad state of affairs.

I will keep you posted on how I am coming with this revolutionary new concept in dieting. In a few weeks I hope to reverse the trend that has me looking like a pretzel who has just swallowed a watermelon. I might change the name to the Percy Goodfellow Diet and when I’m rich and famous all my devoted readers can tell their friends…. PERCY! I knew him when he was a real fatso!