Melting Snow

A forgotten Birthday ~ Day Three

My Mother Forgot Celebrating Her Birthday

On March 19, 2011, my mother, who suffers from Alzheimer’s disease, turned 90 years old. A friend brought her a chocolate birthday cake with the message “Happy 90th birthday, Marie” and a dozen red roses. Two of her children four children, three of her eight grandchildren, and two of her five great grandchildren celebrated with her.

On March 23, 2011, I showed Mom a picture of the birthday cake. She asked me “Whose birthday cake is that?” My response, “Mom, that is a photo of your 90th birthday cake.” My mother angrily answered, “I am not 90 years old!” I was too stunned to ask her how old she thought she was which is probably just as well because she would have increased her anger.

After a few minutes, I gently questioned Mom about what she remembered. She did not realize it was March, she did not remember seeing her two great granddaughters, her grandchildren or my brother. I showed her a picture of the roses, but she did not remember them. Anger and short-term memory lose are symptoms of Alzheimer’s. The reality of her memory lose did not come home to me until I realized she had forgotten celebrating her 90th birthday.

Mom always wanted to live to be 100, so celebrating her birthday each decade was a momentous occasion. At each celebration, she restated her goal; she even wrote a poem about what would happen when she turned 100 years old. Now I wonder how many more of those birthdays it will be wise to celebrate. Since she does not remember celebrating her 90th birthday, what will happen if we celebrate her 91st, 95th, or 99th? Will she get angry because she does not remember being that old?

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