Enga mellom fjella

A friend asked me why I don't move here. My answer:

The culture is similar and different, kinda like being out-of-focus. Not bad when I visit. But... when I spend a lot of time here, I remember that disaster of a year when I was young ...and stupid. I'm older (much older) now; but, it still catches me unawares at times. When I interact with folks I feel like I'm on quicksand.

It isn't just language or manners or customs. It like revisiting dreams and nightmares. I have to be careful to be "present". It would be easier to live elsewhere. Still, it's like home ...a place I've been and know, a place that will forever be a part of me.

me:

Second day of not leaving my 'nest'. Although this isn't good, I'm okay. I don't owe anyone ...anything.

Nice chat with Chris by Skype. She's in Texas planning to visit Costa Rica with the thought of moving here. Lots of plans. Lots of thoughts. Bad connection with a friend in Kansas. Still no answer in Montana yesterday. Some day...

I still feel isolated. Should've gone to the futbol game today. We won 3-1 and are in first place.

Could've gone out last night. But, I know too much about this place. "I can dance with you honey ...does your mother know you are out." Abba. Watching Mama Mia. Yeah... I know too much about this place and I'm feeling my age even if there are others who would like me to forget it.

Following that theme, the bitch next door has created a ruckus with every dog in the neighborhood. One was quite "stuck" with her today. Literally. Hopefully this is over and we can have puppies mid-April.

These thoughts are dangerous. At my age one has regrets. The movie isn't helping one bit.

I did eat my olla de carne. It's quite good even though every time I make it it's different. Cutting up all the vegetables is the biggest mess. This time I added ribs. And for dinner? An omelet with tomato and sweet pepper.

Ah ...the exciting life of someone who isn't quite sure where the hell he is.

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