Who Do I Think I Am??

This one's about non-anonymous.

THE PROMPT: "An anonymous valentine."

Good evening, good people. Curious prompt, given that it's already a few days after Valentine's Day. And I'm not known for my penchant of being anonymous, so allow me to satisfy the prompt in the only way I know how...from me.

Dear Anonymous,

I don't think you need to hear me send you my regards. If you felt the need to solicit them, after the fact that this cheesy Hallmark holiday has already passed, then something is clearly wrong. Ummm, with you. See, if I wanted to wish you a happy Valentine's Day, I would've. But you've chosen to have me send you one anyway. I find that to be a little selfish and a lot more self-serving. I refer this to the same type of people who feel that they have to point out how funny, attractive, or intelligent they are...if they have to be the one to tell you so, even before you've had the chance to figure it out, well, then they probably aren't funny, attractive, or smart (or any adjective of their choosing when referencing themself).

Furthermore, you needn't thank me for my lack of a proper Valentine greeting. It's getting late, and the chimpanzees in the basement need to be fed. I originally hired them to see if they actually could type Shakespeare plays on the computer, but lately they've been translating unnecessary and undecipherable emails and other blatherings on my laptop that seem to keep slipping past my junk filters and anti-virus software. You've always got to stay vigilant to keep these things at bay, or else the terrorists win...again.

So instead, I'll offer my condolences in lieu of flowers this year. While discouraged by your faceless and nameless claims, as well as your unsightly indiscretions and terrifyingly sad attempts at life and how it's used to discourage and debase others, I must admit I find myself staring at you much the way I rubberneck at a car crash. I suppose I should apologize for that, but there's enough water under the burnt bridge for me to grab onto a slab of wood and float away, shaking my head like "This just actually happened?". May the slavation of love find you elsewhere.

Best wishes,
This guy.

MUSICAL BREAK!!

Dear Valentine Anon, please accept these samples of tuneage as a token of your deep infestation of weirdness. Creeper.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VPXlalP2YU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KEpExTCX4k

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hhu-OyHqZM



VITAL STATS:

All in the name of wellness at retail hell today, welllllll...there's talk of cuts at work regarding management positions. These aren't expected to be fully implemented until 2014, but when I tried logging into the system this morning, all systems were down. And I mean all of them. The inventory system, the pharmacy system, the registers, the credit cards and gift cards, photo functions, you name it. The timeclock (which, ironically, likes to go down once or twice a month) worked. The bathrooms worked. And we had electricity. And that's it. And according to tech support, the one register we had in operation for cash-only transactions should've been down too. And since my position relies on almost all of those things being operable (primarily the inventory portion), I was not capable of being useful in my normal capacity today. So I had to do work above my position instead. I didn't sign up for that...in fact, I backed out of it before, because I'm not good at that kinda stuff. And true to past form (and with blessings), I don't think I did a very good job.

justjessica1 was nominated for a local edition of Who's Who In Management And Professionals (and i don't know if I got that title right). Yay baby! I knew they did that for students, but for the poor souls who troll the aisles in retail? Never knew.

It's almost spring...an appropriate fish fry dinner was in order. http://www.urbanspoon.com/r/42/1499991/restaurant/Buffalo/R-Js-Pizzeria-Lancaste...

Madden Superstars time on Facebook. Sabres blew it in a shootout. Can't hold a lead. Can't win a game...against a team that traded a veteran D-man. Ugh. Oooohhh Aaahhh Sabres on the golf course! (That's a play on some old jingle from waaaaaaay back...OOH AHH! Sabres on the Warpath!)

And with that I'm outta here. Gotta send a shout-out to the winners of the January "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" . Good on 'em . And good on my chimps for being able to type that for me! Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dNkf6uFZIs