L'aura del Campo

I'd let myself unwind.

August 27, 2012: "If I could lighten up, I'd let myself..."

But I won't.

I was born wound up and certain life experiences have only made it worse.

Nice if it weren't so.

I might actually enjoy social events, for instance. Parties, especially birthday parties make my anxious, depress me and I end up withdrawn. Giving one is okay though...

Maybe I could join in some stupid game instead of thinking how insipid it is. Maybe I could just laugh? Nah.

Traveling has helped. It stretched my comfort zone. Traveling alone has frustrated me to utter tears though. I'd probably enjoy it more if I cared less. I care too much.

A year ago I was in England staying at friend's home. I set aside the possibility that I was making an ass out of myself or possibly imposing on people. Not that I didn't care. I was just too worn out to invest in how others felt unless they told me.

I had a great time.

If I could live like I did in England... But, nah, that may never happen again.

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