Second Helpings

Curiosity

Are cats hermaphrodite, capable of self cloning or merely illusionists?

We have one small cat residing with us for the week, but it seems everywhere I go, there it is. If I'm downstairs it's leaping on windowsills, scratching the washing machine or yowling around my feet. If I shut it in and go upstairs, it appears up there too. The door to the bedroom where the grandfish are residing is supposedly closed at all times, yet I frequently find it sitting on the surface, batting the side of the tank.

Every time I open a cupboard, there's a cat waiting to step inside, then after a while there's a cat waiting to come out. I'm checking the fridge and washing machine frequently to make sure there isn't one trapped inside.

I have bought said cat a scratching post, a clockwork mouse and a catnip toy I was assured would drive it into a playful frenzy, but all are ignored. But if I sit down and attempt to furtively get on with my knitting it's there like a flash, tangling my wool and delaying any progress.

It's a cute little thing really, but I swear it clones itself or can manage to be in five places at once. Sometimes it disappears for hours, but I can guarantee once I've decided to call it a day, it curls up in a warm, purring ball on my lap and I haven't got the heart to throw it off despite my overwhelming desire to curl up in my own bed.

We've been very cautious about leaving doors to outside open, as despite the foul weather have feared the cat may just leap outside and disappear forever. However, we did think maybe a supervised garden outing might be appreciated, but on leaving the door open for invitation to go outside, the cat just poked a nose out then retreated back indoors. It's scared of the fire, the blender, the coffee machine, the tumble drier and hubby's nose blowing. I conclude it's a wimp in lion's clothing.

Son and family return tomorrow and cat will be returned. I shall send a bill for scratched furniture, tufted carpets and chairs, holey trousers and jumpers and missing articles it decided to play with instead of the purchased cat toys. At least we know if we can't locate it, it won't have run away, but is more likely skulking in a cupboard or causing havoc in my knitting box.

And I thought it was going to be a doddle compared to looking after the Grandmonsters?