Perpetual Ruminations

Wednesday

Not getting much done, but that's about normal anymore. It seems one thing after another comes up and I just don't get the time I need. I'm actually beginning to think in a pessimistic manner, instead of my normal optimism. For instance, it's been a year since I have been on this job, and the schedule has constantly worked against me and I have not been able to plan my time. Now, I plan my time with the idea that it will change as a result of something coming up.

Crazy, I know, but after a while, it just becomes the normal routine. I still hold hope that it will eventually work out. When? Who knows?  All I can do is try and keep everything working smoothly. I do have to do another interview tomorrow, and I am hoping this fella will work out. He is pretty young, and perhaps that's what we need, some young blood.

It's another warm day, humid, and it has been sunny, but it's clouding up now. There is a stiff breeze out, and that helps a lot. I should be mowing, or working on a vehicle, but I did not get motivated enough. I did get some work done for my job, and that's kind of nice. I cleaned out the old files, I printed out a new and updated info-sheet, and I contacted an applicant about an interview.

Now, it's almost time to get ready to go to work, so I will have to wrap this up. I did not get into my story and work on it, and I did not do any reading or reviews. I do need to get more active in here, but I just need more time.

Another pessimistic view; By the time I get some (time that is) I will be so far behind on everything, I'll forget what I wanted the time for. I do know I want to take some time to just get away.

That is my highest priority, but even that is muddled. See, I want to just go off someplace and escape. My plan is to take Rhonda and the dogs out camping. Someplace close, so we don't have to take a lot of time to prepare, and we can run home if we need anything. But, I will not tell anyone where we are going, and I will not bring a phone, or if I do, it will be turned off. Just a day or two of peace and quiet, no work, sitting around a fire, sipping bourbon, wine, or what ever, and enjoying each other.

But, at the same time, I want to take some of that time to write and spend in here. I enjoy the site, I enjoy reading and reviewing, and I enjoy writing, so sure, I enjoy logging in and spending some time. Since writing is my get-a-way, my recluse -- I need to go someplace to do just that.

Whether it's in here, or on paper or in the word processor doesn't matter. When I write, I am free from everything except my own imagination. It is how I sort things out, how I re-energize my synapses, and how I refresh my thinking. I suppose in a way, writing is to me what REM sleep is to rest.

This has been a problem for some time, now. I have not been able to just sit down and develop a good story or poem all the way through. I get something started, but then life interrupts. I say life, but it's not so much life in general, as work. It seems there is always a problem. Even now, with most of the troublesome people gone, there is problems.

We are way under staffed, I have two employees who could help lessen the load a lot, but they are not able to work the hours I need of them, and then there is the delivery service causing trouble. In order to hire someone, I have to give up more time, to interview, train, and make sure they are ready to work on their own, but I don't have enough time as it is. Not only does it take more time, but I do not know when I will have to find the time until the end, which makes things even more stressful.

Oh well, I still hold this optimistic view: It will all work out in the wash.