Collections of stories

The Parking Ticket

I parked my car in front of the store, shoved coins in the slot and turned the handle. The meter rolled up to an hour. I Purchased some itmes and came out of the store to see a policeman writing a parking ticket.
" What are you doing?" I asked.
" What's it look like?" He said, without looking up.
" Now, that's just mean." I said." Why don't you find a real crime, or did they make you write tickets because you can't do anything else?"
The officer gave me an icy glare, and continued writing. " I see your tires are below the required tread depth. I'll have to cite you for that."
" You know," I began. " I tried out for the police force once, but, I couldn't pass the background check."
" Oh, " The officer said." Do you have a criminal past? What was it? Child molestation?" He smirked.
" No ", I responded." My parents had been married for three years before I was born. I gather you have to be a bastard in order to be a policeman."
" I see your tail light is out." He said as he kneed the red plastic, shattering the lens.
" I don't believe you did that." I said.
He smiled." I'll have to write another citation. "
Some people stopped in front of the store, and I called to them." This officer just vandalized this car." I shouted, pointing to the fuming cop.
" Listen here, Jack." He said in a menacing tone." I'll run you in for attempting to incite a riot."
" I doubt you'll do that. these people will testify on my behalf."
" They won't." He said." They don't give two cents for what happens to you."
Another policecar rolled to a stop in front of the store, and another officer got out.
" What's the problem, Baker." He asked the officer.
" This guy's a wise-ass, Monty." He jerked his chin at me.
" Need any help?" Mony asked.
" No," Baker shook his head." I've handled smart guys before. This one's no different."
" I'm a smart guy?" I said." I watched you break out that tail light, and then write me a ticket, and you call me a smart guy? What's this officers' full name, and badge number?"
" All that information will be on the citations." Monty said as he got back in his unit." Have a nice day." He smiled as he drove off.
I looked at my watch." How long is this going to take? " I asked.
" As long as I want it to take." He said as he started another page in the book." Your license plate isn't up to code. I'll have to write another ticket." He smirked.
" You're unbelievable. No wonder nobody trusts cops." I said." If all the police in your department are anything like you this city is in real trouble."
" Keep talkin', wiseass." he said as he tore out another ticket.
" How many tickets are you going to write? I asked.
" How many do you want? " He responded.
" Oh, I think you've written enough." I said as I walked over to my car sitting next to the one he cited." That's not my car." I said as I got in and drove off