Wondering about my Wanderings

Praying for Blessing

December 14, 2013

I am more convicted than ever of the fact that I still get caught in feeling hurt and in so doing hope persons know how they might be contributing to it. It is the furthest thing from the attitude I want to exude. I found myself thinking about this has I did my patrol rounds. At times doing the same tedious chore makes a place seem like a prison for me and this day was no exeption.

I caught myself thinking of all the people and circumstances that landed me in a job where I take on the role of a kind of policemen. It is a different journey than I would ever have chosen for myself. For the time that I work there I am a prisoner to my surroundings. The only sure thing is do not fall asleep! I am glad God has a good sense of humor. I have had time to think of how my attitude contributes to my own madness.

I realize that I am taken advantage of at times. I think we all are. At that point I have a choice. I can wish them to have a life filled with more happiness and bliss than I will ever know. Or I can also posit within myself that they will know hell for all the awful things that they have done to me or others I care about. The bottom line the consequence will always be in God's hands. I am reminded that my life is filled with faults and foibles. Thank you God for choosing to bless me, even if I do not deserve it. Isn't this the attitude that we are wanting others to foster. It is a thought just in time for Christmas. As a footnote I am not inviting abuse just a note that I wish someone well with or without me.

In conclusion I am confronted with the extent that I own and know my story, rather than letting my story own me. In letting my story own me I am a victim. There have certainly been some painful things that have happened that are too painful to write down. That does not mean the healing is not on the horizon. I believe that this writing site is a tool to get in touch with all of who I am so that I can more fully bless others. God bless one and all. May this Christmas be the best ever!!!