Wondering about my Wanderings

Stranded

January 2, 2014

I am in process of trying to fight a cold. It is one of those activities that seems all consuming. The word "stranded" describes where I am at today. I keep looking for activities to slow down the constant hacking. I do puzzles, play with my kindle, read, count (to see how long I can go with or without coughing), hot showers, eat, drink, take medicine, sleep (when I can) and doing what I can around the house.

As of this week I have decided to put most of my writing on hold. I feel stranded! This teaches my some things about myself.

1. I tend to plow full speed ahead whether I feel good or not and never quite get over what ails me. (In this case a cold)
2. I want to be a professional caregiver and am discovering I cannot take care of someone if I can not take care of myself.
3. I do not like being/feeling out of control.
4. My esteem revolves my ability to work more than around who I am.
5. I am not patient in these matters and am apt to drive others away who want to help.

The bottom line is that in the process of overcoming I feel stranded. I say this knowing that I have to work overnight so that I can make money to pay bills. I often say to myself that in God's time I will be well. I guess part of what I can work on is redeeming attitudes of health and well being out of what I perceive as sickness. God is love. What better way to share that truth than to show others God loves me despite my sickness?