Wondering about my Wanderings

Darkness

I am in a dark place today. I am not sure that is all that needs to be said on the subject. It seems like there are so many assaults and a need to get away for awhile. I am just not sure where that place to go is. Writing is a difficult craft. I admire those who choose it as their vocation. There are so many ups and downs. One day you can feel like you found what ever you are looking for and other days it can seem like you have become a bullseye that people cannot wait to hit..

I read something from survivor yesterday. This will pass soon enough. Just yesterday I was given the chore of getting someone to get a bath. The person refused. That probably sums it all up. The bath can be there and persons can decide they want no part of it. I am not sure what it takes to get out of the dark place. I will do some caregiving and go to the dentist. Hopefully I can get a handle on what it means for me to be a writer. I used to think I knew.

I tend to look at things from a salvific point of view. If only.... The bottom line is that I need to know what can get me and others to that salvific moment. Writing is so much trickier. On any given day a person can strip you naked and make you wonder why you even put clothes on in the first place. There other days when you wonder if maybe you have something to offer, a gift of a written word. I can not seem to assimilate a place of balancing the two. I will take some grammar classes in the spring. Will it even matter? I do not know. The dark place can only end if I am willing to find out whether there is something besides the darkness.