Perpetual Ruminations

Friday

Another day coming to a close, and I'm just getting in here to write. It's eight o'clock here in South Dakota, not very late, especially when I think about how I tend to be a night person, up to the wee hours of the morning. At least I used to be, and given half a chance, I still find myself up well past midnight. It's something I don't understand, but I do know that's just how I'm wired.

As a child, I never liked going to bed early, but I didn't like staying up real late, either. I did enjoy waking early and enjoying the day. In fact, I hated to sleep in, wasting any part of a day. That's probably why I didn't like going to bed early, either. Friday and Saturday nights I did get to stay up late and watch the late late movie, after the news was over. I remember westerns and war movies with my dad, and horror flicks with my older sister. I suppose they ended around midnight, and then it was off to bed. Even then, I would be up around seven in the morning and ready to go. If we were going fishing, I'd be up even earlier, dressed and ready to go.

Now, I still find myself not wanting to go to bed at night. I know I need to get more sleep, but I just don't want to end the day. There's always more I want to do, more that I didn't get to, and I know that's part of it. But, I have to work mornings now, starting work at a quarter to five. I live twenty five miles away, so I need to leave around four or shortly after, so I get up and three. This should have me plenty ready for bed by this time of the night, but it just doesn't seem to work that way. I can be dead tired at work, unable to keep my eyes open after work, but come time for bed, and I find myself with my second wind and ready to go.

Often, like today, I am so tired by the time I get home that I can't really do much. I did get on the computer for a little while, but kept dozing off. So, I took a little nap, but did not hear the alarm and ended up taking a couple hour nap. That isn't helping me feel like I'm ready for bed. But even if I don't take a nap, I can be dozing off in my chair while on the computer, or falling asleep during a movie, but come time to go to bed, and I get another burst of energy. Just call me weird, I guess.

There are some things I can do to help me sleep better. One is to use an aid to fall asleep, but I really don't like to do that very often. Another is get some good fresh air; something about being outdoors really tires me out and makes me sleep good at night. I also think if I get out from under some of the stress and find more time to relax, I would sleep better. Of course, getting back into my diet and exercise would do me wonders, and not just with sleep. But, I need time, and that is in short supply right now. Not right now as in this week, but since I took this job as site supervisor for a security company.

It's getting better, we have a full crew and things are looking up. Hopefully they continue to work in this direction. We also have a second vehicle again, so less driving and more time, as well as saving a lot on gas. Also, spring is just around the corner, and with warmer and nicer weather, things should improve, too. I feel hopeful that everything is going to turn around and I will have more time to do the things I enjoy, less stress and more time outdoors, and above all else, more time to write. But, I also do not want to get my hopes up too high and have them dashed to pieces like they were last summer.

Everything was looking good for the spring, we had just hired my wife and had a full crew, and I was looking forward to a nice summer. Then one guard started missing a lot of work, soon she was off work for some medical problems, or so she claimed. I say this because she failed to supply any of the documentation I needed, and eventually just stopped contacting me at all. Then, another guard started pulling a lot of little things. At first they were just annoying, but the more I tried to work with her, the more she worked against me and the policies of the job. I was already short on help, but knew if she did not straighten up her act, I would have to terminate her. She quit before it got that far.

I managed to get another guard hired and trained in, but then lost another person to medical problems and was still very short on help. Then, I hired another and was just one person short on what we needed when I lost another. He had been warned, I had confronted him three times with corrective actions, and instead of doing his job right, he got even  worse and I was directed to remove him. That left us with four people to cover the hours that should have had six people. Two of these guards were only part-time, and the one guy did pick up a lot of hours, more than he had wanted when I hired him, but he helped out.

The other person however, could not work the hours I needed, was constantly needing the schedule changed, and then up and quit on me anyway. Eventually, by fall, we finally had a full crew for a while, but not until the spring and summer had passed. I had worked everyday from the end of April until the middle of September. Then for a short time, I was able to get a day off here and there, eventually two in a row. But then another person up and quit, and we went into the winter short handed and with little time off. Now, we are finally back to a full crew, and hopefully we will have a better year than last.

It looks like I drifted a little off topic again, but that's what happens when I get tired. So, enough for now and off to bed.