Second Helpings

Letters of Complaint

I'm not sure if it's nature or nurture, but it appears there's a principle gene runs in my family and once rattled an almost uncontrollable obsession to let the instigators know about it, usually in the form of a letter. My mother, my sister, my son and myself all seem to have been blessed or cursed with an overwhelming desire to put down our grievances in writing.

My mother wrote many letters to all sorts of people and societies over the years expressing her strong opinions on many issues. A classic I remember was the short note she sent to a fox hunting group, probably after a few glasses.

' You and your sort make me sick. I hope you rot in hell. '

I too have written many letters of complaint over the years to hospitals, social services, solicitors, counsellors and members of parliament as well as having several published in newspapers and magazines. Whether my complaints about fireworks, care in the community, health services and many other topics have ever made any difference to anything is doubtful, but this inherited need to offload whatever's on my mind is something I can't seem to dampen. I sometimes envy others who can just let things go or accept injustices, but on the other hand if we all become lethargic about voicing opinions, then we can never expect anything to change for the better.

It's a while since I wrote a letter of complaint, more from lack of time and energy rather than not having anything to complain about, but this week I've been riled enough to waste a day composing a letter to my doctor's surgery. I have been a patient at the same surgery for over thirty years now, but only ever visit if I'm forced to. Over recent times I'd say I've been to the doctors about once a year and rarely take up any time. I would think doctors should be grateful to have patients who don't make a fuss over nothing or waste their time.

My husband's health history and the fact that he is presently in severe pain and awaiting an appointment with an orthopaedic surgeon means he has to visit the doctors quite frequently. On Wednesday he had to go to the surgery for an overhaul and also to collect a letter of referral. I was out shopping with a friend when my mobile rang. There was no caller ID. Past experiences have made me wary of unknown phone calls and I tend to panic a little, always assuming it's bad news. When I answered, I was informed it was a call from the doctor's surgery which caused further alarm and convinced me something horrific had happened to hubby.

But no, it was a call to invite me to a group session regarding lifestyle at the surgery. I'd already ignored a letter on the same topic the week before which had rather annoyed me to start with. The call made me furious and I couldn't rest until I'd written a letter expressing my concerns. In my humble opinion it's an invasion of privacy to make uninvited, random phone calls to people without prior notice or consent.

If I want to change my lifestyle I'll ask for help when and if I need to. With so many sick people on their records why waste time and resources pressuring those of us who keep away from doctors as much as possible? I could have been at a funeral, in a hospital or in the middle of a family crisis when they made this invasive phone call and as it was I could have suffered a heart attack thinking the call was to do with my husband's problems. A bit of an exaggeration I know, but it did little for my health or temper.

Some would say I should be grateful they care, but I see it as some sort of government incentive scheme they must be involved in and an attempt to boost their finances by railroading undemanding patients into visiting the surgery. In the past thirty years no one has bothered about my health or habits before, so why now? If I need a doctor I'll make my own appointment thank you very much.

They still haven't got round to writing the letter of referral for my husband either, so I think their priorities are rather twisted. Is it too much to ask to be left alone to make our own decisions in life?

Perhaps I should see the doc and ask if there's any treatment available for grumpy old women. That is if they haven't already struck me off.