Perpetual Ruminations

Thursday

Kind of a quiet and peaceful day; one of them lazy days of summer. I have the day off, my last one together with Rhonda for a while, or at least until we get someone hired and trained again. It's nice out, temperature wise, but kind of windy, and there is rain in the area.

It's been  good day, but unfortunately I had to discipline my dog, which is always kind of a downer for me. It's kind of like the old saying, this is going to hurt me worse than it will hurt you. But, it's my responsibility to teach her and make her a productive member of our family. Unfortunately, she spent her life in the pound up to the point we adopted her. Being cute, and a smaller breed, I'm sure she was adopted a few times, at least.

But, she is also a bundle of pure energy and a can be quite a handful. So, I suspect that some well meaning person seen this little puppy in the pound and brought her home, expecting her to be well mannered and well behaved. Only, she wasn't, she had been put in the pound at a very young age and never had the opportunity to interact with a family. She would have been very excited and eager to explore and learn, but yet, had no idea what a family was.

So, she did something they did not like and instead of teaching her, they returned her to the pound. For this young dog, the message was clear, if you get in trouble, you get returned to life in a small pen, isolated from human interactions, except for what little the caretakers of the pound provided. As she matured, she must have gone out at least a few times, from what the woman at the pound said, but she never lasted more than a few days before being returned. Again, as soon as unwanted behavior surfaced, she was returned to her pen, and soon learned this is what punishment it.

We did not know it when we went to the pound to see her, but learned at the time of adoption, that this loving animal was about to be put down. What had brought us to the pound was an post online, shared by a friend. My Golden Retriever had just passed away of old age, and I was heartbroken. We were all heartbroken, but Hyko, our other Golden, took her death especially hard. He had all but given up on life, and would only lie and stare off into space. He had no interest in anything and we feared that he may follow her right to the grave.

We seen the post, and it showed pictures of the current residents of the pound. Hannah was there, a cross between a Lab and a Springer, about half the size of Hyko, and very pretty. What caught my attention was the intelligence in her eyes. We discussed it and drove in to look at her. She was in the last cage, and we had someone get her and bring her out where we could see her. At the time, I was uncertain if I wanted another pet or not, but knew Rhonda was interested and I thought it would help Hyko pull through his grief.

When Hannah was brought out, she was pulling and jumping, completely unruly. She was so excited and eager to see everyone and anyone, but they had her restrained on a choker collar and it did the trick, she behaved just enough to keep from having it cinched up on her. Rhonda took her and petted her, then brought her over to me. She was so eager to jump right up on me, that it was difficult to even look her over. She was actually shaking she was so excited, and eager. She insisted on getting right up by my face and fought hard to stay right there with me.

The pound did not take credit or debit cards, and I had not brought my checkbook, but I knew I wanted to bring this young dog home. They were not sure how old she was, but said she was two years old. She didn't look that old, I would have put her at about a year, by her growth, and the fact she had not yet filled out. But, the story was that the people that had her had been forced to move and could not bring her with them. Yet at the same time, they told us she had never been worked with or trained. She had gone out a few times but been returned because she was not a house dog. Her breeding also did not fit, since she was a cross between a Lab and a Springer, both of which the original owners raised and bred. The information given us was that the two breeds crossed and Hannah was the result, unwanted and unsellable.

Of course the story was first one, then the other as time passed. Also, Hannah had the appearance that she was either pregnant or had recently had a litter of pups. I suspect that the people breed her on purpose to create a smaller hunting dog, and then bred her again with either the Lab or the Springer to get the desired build and markings. Once she was bred and they had the puppies, for future breeding, she was no longer needed since she did not have the color and markings desired. In other words, she had good parenting on both sides, been kept for one purpose, to breed and then to dispose of. She was not worked with except to feed and breed, then turned over to the pound.

Of course, that is only speculation, but it does explain a lot of what we were told, that she had only received shots once, and why she had been brought in, to start with. The rest, getting a home and returned was true, because she had never known a life outside of a pen that likely wasn't any bigger than in the pound. What ever her story was, my heart felt for her, and I ran to the bank, got out some cash and we brought Hannah home. She was a handful, but very eager to please, and she was pretty well behaved. She didn't know much, for being a pet, anyway. She did not know how to interact with people or other dogs properly, she did not know how to play with Hyko or with toys, and she did not know how to behave in a house.

Mostly, she was afraid to do much of anything, for fear of being returned to the pound. In my thinking, she expected this to be a couple day outing and then back home. Yes, this young dog thought the pound was home. She soon learned some basics, and I discovered that what I seen in her eyes was right, she was very smart. She learns fast, and retains the knowledge. She slowly learned how to interact, but it's been a long struggle to get her to play with toys, to bring them back to me, and to even jump up and sit on my lap. Hyko, of course, climbs up on the chairs and bed. Hannah was very much capable of jumping up, but would not. I could not even call her up, but had to lift her and put her up on the chair to sit.

After, she was depressed, and it did not take long to realize, that her simple reasoning told her that she had gotten up on the furniture, now she had to go back to the pound. Of course, she did not, and after a while she became more secure in knowing that she was not going to get in trouble if she sat in my recliner. It has been like this with so many things, trying to get her to interact and do things most dogs would not think twice about. But, her biggest fear to this day is to disappoint me and get sent back to the pound.

For instance, after she had been with us for some time, I let her run free off the lead. She did pretty well, but then one day wondered off down the street to play with some kids that live a couple of houses down. She did not know any different, and she loves kids, so she did what felt right and wondered off. I called and she did not come. I walked down to get her, but she would not even come to me then. She didn't' avoid me, she just was having too much fun interacting with these children to stop and listen.

But, she needed to learn that she cannot leave the yard, unless she is on a leash and taken out of the yard. So, I had to put her on the lead and bring her back home, scolding her and then putting her inside. She actually shook she was so filled with terror. She has never been mistreated, to any ones knowledge, so it was something else that she feared. The next day, we ran into town, and of course, as we often do, let the dogs ride along. They both love to ride, and jump right in, and everything was fine until we got to town, then Hannah began to grumble and whine, crying and acting like a caged animal. That's when I understood her fear, she thought I was bringing her back to the pound, because I had scolded and disciplined her.

To this day, she is sensitive to this. I can scold her, tell her know and work with her pretty well, but when she does something new that requires discipline, she instantly becomes depressed and acts like her life here is over. This makes it very difficult for me to work with her with discipline, but yet, sometimes I have to. That was the case today, and she broke my heart seeing how upset she gets, and how she tries so hard to snuggle and hang tight to me after. She looks at me with those intelligent eyes as if to say, I'm sorry, I didn't know, please to take me back.

I know in time, she will come to realize that her home is here, we are a family and even when she gets herself in trouble, she won't have to give up the only home and family she's ever known. In the meantime, it's more painful for me to scold her, and teach her sometimes than it is for her to learn, but it's the only way she can learn, and it's my responsibility to teach her so that nothing bad will happen to her.

Now, she is back to her old self, and not clinging so tight to my feet. She is beginning to understand that I'm disappointed in her, but I'm not going to take her back to the pound, and she can still have her home here and a family. That's the hardest part, I know and understand, but there is no way to make her understand; she's intelligent, that's for sure, but she just does not have the capacity to understand that the past is over and she will never have to go back to that place.